What was the worst ‘compliment’ you received from a man?
JAMAICAN men are known for dishing it out smoothly with their words. A one-liner professing their interest or praising your attributes can have you glowing for days. But sometimes, in the ‘compliments’, there are veiled insults, or even harassment, and many times it’s long after the comment has been made that you pick up on the ill intent and just cringe.
From comments about their weight to their looks, women will tell you that they have to maintain nerves of steel to survive living on this island. And even when they leave, sometimes the bad vibes follow them to new shores.
What was the worst ‘compliment’ you received from a man?
Merlene, 40:
I don’t look my age at all. In fact, many people say I have a baby face, and if you don’t see my ID you’d think I was in my 20s. At least that’s what I thought up to recently when I went to Boston for the Thanksgiving break and was in a store shopping. I grabbed a dress and went to the fitting room section to try it on when a Jamaican guy who had been standing there, apparently waiting for someone, looked me up and down and said, “Wow, I bet you were a stunner when you were young, but that dress is not for old ladies, Ma’am.” If the floor could have swallowed me I would have been happy.
Jackie, 33:
“If you weren’t married, the things I would do to you.” Imagine hearing this from a guy who sees it as a compliment. Worse, the kind of man you wouldn’t have even considered dating, even if you were single. They think that you should feel good when they say this, not realising that you feel just icky that they’d have these thoughts about you.
Vanessa, 30:
I’m a bit on the chubby side, but I like my body and I’m comfortable with myself. But the other day my boss made a comment that still ticks me off, even though he apologised. I was wearing a dress I’d just bought and gone to his office and he said, “Vanessa, you’d be such a pretty girl if you’d lose some weight.” He laughed and said sorry when he saw that I was offended, but to this day I think he’s an idiot.
Carolyn, 27:
A new manager joined the company when I was seven months’ pregnant and I was introduced to him because I was working on a major project that he was impressed by. After I gave him a rundown of the project — which I had conceptualised by the way — his comment was, “You’re so beautiful and bright, imagine if I was the one to put that baby in you, we’d have created a superstar.” He acted like he was joking, but it took like five minutes for the other two people in the office to pick their jaws up from off the floor.
Kemisha, 32:
When I was in my early 20s I was dating this guy from church, and we’d gone as far as to approach pastor to get his blessing for our future engagement. One day we were at Devon House and I’d ordered ice cream, then told him I was going to get a patty and bread pudding from the pastry section to take home. His comment was, “You’re my soulmate, but you know I’m not going to marry you if you get any fatter, right?” I was devastated, not because of the comment, but because I knew I had to dump him and then explain to everyone, including pastor, why we wouldn’t work out. But I managed it, and today I’m married to a man who loves all my curves.
