Good men, better men, the best men

MEN get a bad rap, and it’s a case of one bad apple spoiling the lot for the most part. Years and years of abuse by gaslighters and cheating narcissists has led women to theorise that all, or most men, are of the canis lupus familiaris species — dogs known to roam and wander, and chase after any and every female they encounter.

But not all men are bad; in fact many are good, and many women have weeded through the morass to find their Mr Right, who’s not only their perfect match, but treats them well too.

What’s the most loving thing a man has done for you, that for you, dispelled the myth that they were all bad?

Jewel, 40:

My husband and I were on terrible terms, in fact so terrible, that he had consulted with a lawyer and paid the fees to start the divorce proceedings. We were in separate rooms, not speaking to each other at all, and the tension was high. Basically, we hated each other, and we were just in the same space because of the kids. Then my mom died. I sank into depression and the same man who had become my enemy, put aside everything to nurture me. He did all the running around, and wiped my tears when I just bawled. One day I asked him why he was doing so much, and he said, as if surprised, “When you love someone it’s normal to do things for them, because you love them”. After that, he consented to be one of the pallbearers with my brothers, and was even at the chapel handing out programmes, and driving my family around. He’s a good man, and that was when I realised just how good he was.

Kadian, 35:

My fiancé does random things — sends me flowers, buys me gift baskets, sends me songs to listen to at work, and does things that other people would probably consider weird — like blow and straighten my hair and oil my scalp, search for ingrowns after my wax session, give me massages and pedicures, and cooks for me. This is not a new relationship either where he has to prove himself; we’ve been together for 13 years. He’s my perfect guy.

Moya, 23:

He had driven to Hanover to spend time with his family who were visiting from Canada, and I was in Kingston alone for the weekend. He drove down on the Friday, and on the Saturday evening I was doing laundry and had the back door open, when a mouse ran inside the house. I was terrified, and called my boyfriend. I told him that there was no way I was sleeping in the house with a rat, neither would I try to find it to kill it. I was prepared to book a hotel room for the night, but he just said “I’m coming baby”. And would you know that he drove all the way from Hanover to come find the rat and dispose of it, then just kissed me afterwards and headed back for the long drive to Hanover. I can’t help but respect a man like that.

Tracy-Ann, 38:

We have three young kids, two dogs and a cat in a three-bedroom house, and I’m an introvert so I get frustrated sometimes with all the activity and chaos in the house. I casually mentioned the other day that I was overwhelmed, and wish I had a space out back to just go and chill by myself. I was at home one day when a delivery truck came with wood and supplies. My husband and his workmen then spent a weekend building a pergola in our backyard, then bought furniture, string lights, blankets, pillows and even a wi-fi extender, and decked out the space for my comfort. Now it’s my little spot to escape when the kids are driving me crazy.