‘Some battles are to teach us to be still’

THIS week I am delighted to share the inspirational testimony of a dear friend, respected academic, and woman of faith, Dr Anthea Henderson. Be encouraged by her vulnerability, authenticity, and distilled wisdom.

Q: What would you describe as your superpower, the talent or gift that makes you succeed?

A: I’ve actually been thinking about the term superpower a bit. It seems to be in vogue these days. I’ve been wondering whether its use is influenced by Hollywood culture, so I tend to shy away from it. However, I know every child of God does have a number of gifts and talents, and God being so generous, He gives us several and in unique clusters in line with His purpose and pleasure.

I think one of the main gifts that I have is as an encourager. I truly enjoy affirming people, letting them know they are special, telling them about some attribute or distinct capacity they have, persuading them to believe that they can strive for excellence, and celebrating their unique personhood. I have been known to tell a lady that she’s looking resplendent today or a guy that he’s strong and intelligent. Occasionally people are taken by surprise by the unexpected compliment, but that’s what makes it all the more enjoyable. They didn’t see it coming!

How does being an encourager make me successful? Well, it disarms others, and hopefully helps them feel safe and affirmed. It’s especially important for working in teams. We each have something important to bring to the project and everybody can do their part with enthusiasm and without competition. The point is that complimenting others is one way of being kind (think of Ephesians 4:32, for example), and if I’m being kind, then in God’s books, I’m successful.

Q: What would you describe as being your main weakness?

A: I have more than one. One that stands out for me, though, because of how debilitating it can be, is anxiety. I have the tendency to overthink things, to contemplate the myriad ways things can go horribly wrong to try to figure out all the solutions that need to be in place to avert that dreadful thing…and all of this is going on in my head while I am to the casual observer seeming to be quite calm. It’s awful. I remember seasons when I would plead with God to change everything around me, all the circumstances on the outside to prevent me having to give a presentation or lecture or some other assignment! The worst was one time when I silently said, “God, now would be a good time for an earthquake…or something.” That is the extent to which a sin can carry us. Yes, it is sin.

I am overcoming anxiety as I grow in my walk with the Lord. But it got really bad before it got better. I learned to focus on God and not on the situation that seemed so threatening. And I couldn’t be ‘sometimeish’ about this, dipping in and out of trust on a whim. I became determined to “stay my mind on the Lord” so I could enjoy “perfect peace”. (Isaiah 26:3) I am still learning, but I’m getting better.

Q: Describe one of your greatest challenges and how your faith in God helped you overcome it.

A: Again, I have had a few. A recent one was my health challenge of 2019. I call that year my personal holocaust, my life reset, or what Henri Nouwen called the “deep night of the soul”. I became really ill – with immune system issues and mental health struggles – and it became so severe I had to take time off work. For anything to take me away from work it has to be significant because I really love my job of lecturing, writing, and doing research.

I was weak, in pain, and very sad, with times of deep depression. I had never had an experience like this before. All of a sudden, “Mom-boss” was in need of care, in need of attention. And they did care for me, my husband and sons. Still, I wasn’t sure how long it would last, and if I would make it out on the other side.

It was the worst of times and the best of times. The worst part was thinking I had done something wrong and God was upset with me. Neither of those were true. The best part was learning to be weak, to be cared for by others, and to know that God’s love is unconditional.

How did my faith help me? It helped me because as the hours rolled into days, and the days into weeks, and the weeks into months I realised that God hadn’t left me. In fact, I was still able to hear His voice – sometimes more clearly than when I had been well, active, and getting on with the business of life. His word became very important; when I couldn’t sleep at night, I would read the Psalms – aloud – chapter after chapter after chapter, until it seemed as if the sleep was ready to return.

I wasn’t sure why all of this had happened to me. But one thing I did ask God for was the opportunity to turn the whole awful affair into a testimony. I kept saying, “God, all this can’t go for nothing. Something good must come out of it.” Actually, it was in 2019 that the biggest battles with anxiety came, and also the biggest victories. And like I said, I’m still growing.

Q: What is your advice to women who are going through a tough season of struggle?

A: I was going to say, “Hang on to Jesus with every fibre of your being.” And yes, do that. We must endure.

But I’m going to say something else, which, on the face of it, seems opposite, but isn’t: Rest. Rest in Jesus. Rest in His love. Rest in His compassion. Rest in His promises.

You see, if we are women of faith, we probably know the word of God and can wield scriptures like a warrior with a sword. We are impatient for victory and wonder why there should be any battle in the first place. We’ve probably been busy, active, accomplished, exemplary. People are probably amazed by our service, our faith, our zest. I used to have only two settings — on and off. I didn’t know of an in-between, a place of waiting, a place of allowing the Spirit to hover over me like He did in Genesis 1:2 as He was about to bring order to the chaos of the created realm. I needed to stop. And wait. Even in the chaos.

Some battles are to teach us to be still. “Because we trust in You” (Isaiah 26:3). That’s the other part of that verse. We can be still because we trust in Jesus.

•Be very careful of what you say while you are going through this tough season. Trust in Jesus.

•Be very careful of how you define things in this tough season. Trust in Jesus.

•Be very careful of making snap decisions during this tough season. Trust in Jesus.

In the tough season Jesus is still caring for us and fighting on our behalf. Maybe the biggest lesson of all is to rest in that truth and allow Him to powerfully and lovingly bring us through.

Thank you for reading. Dr Henderson (IG: @edalerehenderson) is a CARIMAC/UWI Lecturer, researcher, UGrad Coordinator. Join us next week for another installment of Women & Faith by Shelly-Ann Mair-Harris. Have a testimony or story you want to share? Send an e-mail to familyandfaithmagazine@gmail.com

Passionate about faith and women empowerment, Shelly-Ann Mair-Harris has served on the board of women’s rights organisations and is the author of several publications, including God’s Woman and The Goodies on Her Tray. A woman of faith for several years, Shelly-Ann is the creator of Family and Faith Magazine and Women & Faith. She is also a podcaster, an award-winning playwright and poet as well as a trained and experienced media, marketing, change-management and strategic communications professional.