Snapping out of love

THERE’S a quote from Cristina Yang in Grey’s Anatomy, where she’s laugh-crying after realising her worth with a husband who was draining her ­— “I have an MD and a PhD, I am a freaking cardiothoracic surgeon, I am supposed to be studying for my boards, the most important exam of my life, and I’m locked in a bathroom crying… because of a boy.” It’s the moment she realises that she’s more than enough, too good for him and his drama — that lightbulb moment women often have when they realise their men don’t deserve them at all.

When did you get to that moment with a partner? And what fictional female character served as an inspiration to you to you snap out of it, and realise you deserved so much more?

Ally, 28:

Grey’s Anatomy again, and a quote from Meredith Grey: “I make no apologies for how I chose to repair what you broke.” I was in a relationship where the guy would constantly gaslight me, and each time I tried to end it, he would basically say that no other man would want damaged goods, especially since I had a child as a teen. He broke me down so much, but one day I got the courage and left, for my daughter’s sake. That quote resonates with me, because it took a while to get back on my feet, and I dated a few guys before I found my current guy, who worships me.

Jaylen, 27:

I’ve been binging on Sex and the City lately and these two from Samantha Jones are good: “I love you too, but I love me more”, and “The right guy is an illusion”. It certainly helped me put some perspective on my current relationship, where there is a lot of lies and cheating. I love him, but I’m also realising that I’m too good for him, and I love myself more than I could ever love him.

Valrie, 32:

“It’s not my job to make you feel like a man. I can’t make you something you’re not” from Astrid in
Crazy Rich Asians. I’m currently having this issue with my husband, who I’m now realising is a weak, jelly back man who constantly wants validation from others. I just sit back, because I’m never going to be the one trying to make him feel like a man.

Misha, 40:

From Bridgerton: “All is fair in love and war, but some battles leave no victor, only a trail of broken hearts that makes us wonder if the price we pay is ever worth the fight.” I think as one gets older they realise the wisdom of statements like these. Sometimes the fight for love or a relationship or companionship isn’t worth it, and causes more trauma than it needs to.

Nessia, 26:

“You get what you settle for” from Louise in Thelma and Louise. My mom always had that quote on her fridge, and it was only recently that we all sat down and watched the movie. I’ve proven it so many times — men really give you just as much as you’re willing to take.

Kerrian, 42:

“I want what I’m worth” from Allison Holt in Suits. I think this is so impactful, especially for a woman who has experience and has things for herself. At that point, she’s choosing a partner who complements her, who is worth it. Because she doesn’t need a man, it’s all on her own terms.