Mum's Role in Wedding Planning
Mothers provide emotional support (Photo: Martha Stewart)

Weddings are joyous occasions that bring together family and friends to celebrate the love between two people. While the focus is often on the couple, it's important to remember the essential role of the mothers in the wedding planning process and on the wedding day.

A mum in control of their child's wedding day is nothing new. In fact, from the beginning of time, a mother's traditional role was to plan the wedding. There are some couples who feel they are experiencing overbearing-mother wedding planning woes, while others are more than grateful to have Mother Dearest take over the details of the day. Regardless of how you feel about your mother's involvement, know that it all comes from a good place. It is natural for mothers to want the best for their children. By working together with the couple, she can help create a beautiful and memorable wedding day that reflects their unique love story.

Mums can also offer emotional support, help manage the budget, assist with vendor selection, manage the guest list, and ensure that wedding traditions are honoured. In the current wedding climate, 21st-century trends take the lead for many modern couples, as they shy away from having what their parents think of as a "normal traditional" wedding. Mothers should help their children navigate cultural and family traditions and ensure they are incorporated into the wedding celebration in a way that is a true reflection of the couple.

Here are some essential roles a mother plays during wedding planning:

• Emotional Support: Planning a wedding can be full of emotions, and as a mother, you are there to provide emotional support to your child throughout the entire process. You can be a sounding board for ideas, a shoulder to cry on when things get overwhelming, and a source of encouragement when your child needs it most.

• Budgeting and Financial Support: Weddings can be expensive, and it's easy to get carried away with spending. As a mother, you can help your child create a budget for the wedding and stick to it. You can offer suggestions on the areas to save money. By being mindful of the budget, you can help your child avoid unnecessary post-wedding debt. Many parents also offer financial support by offering to pay for certain elements of the wedding.

• Vendor Selection: Selecting vendors can be a daunting task, especially if your child is unfamiliar with the wedding industry. It's likely that mothers have friends who have played the role of mother of the bride or groom before; she can use her network to recommend trusted vendors and even accompany the couple to meetings and appointments. A mother can help her child research and select vendors.

• Guest List Management: One of the most challenging aspects of wedding planning is managing the guest list. Mothers can help the couple navigate the delicate balance between inviting family members, friends, and acquaintances. You can help your child make decisions about who to invite and assist with sending out invitations and tracking RSVPs. Remember, it's not your job to add a ton of long-lost relatives.

Couples also have a responsibility to make their mothers feel included and valued during this special time. Here are some ways to make mum feel special.

• Communication: Communication is key when it comes to making your mother feel included in the wedding planning process. Schedule regular meetings with both sets of parents to discuss venue selection, guest lists, and other important details. This will help keep everyone informed and involved in the decision-making process.

• Ask for Input: Ask for her input and take her ideas into consideration. This will make her feel valued and included in the decision-making process. Even if you don't use all of her suggestions, listening to her ideas will show that you respect her opinions and value what she has to say.

• Special Roles: Consider giving both mothers special roles on the wedding day. They could, for example, light the unity candle, walk up the aisle with the groom or bride, or give a special reading during the ceremony. These small gestures will make both mothers feel included and valued, and they will cherish the memories for years.

• Shopping for Wedding Attire: Invite your mother to join you for dress fittings, and ask for her opinion on accessories and hairstyles. You could also plan a mother-daughter or mother-son outing to shop for wedding attire together.

• Special Gifts: Consider giving your mother a special gift on the wedding day as a way of saying thank you for all of her support and guidance.

It's important to remember the various roles of the mothers in the wedding planning process and on the wedding day. This will create lasting memories and strengthen your relationship with your mothers.

A mother (Photo: Ross Kyker)

Now you can read the Jamaica Observer ePaper anytime, anywhere. The Jamaica Observer ePaper is available to you at home or at work, and is the same edition as the printed copy available at


  1. We welcome reader comments on the top stories of the day. Some comments may be republished on the website or in the newspaper; email addresses will not be published.
  2. Please understand that comments are moderated and it is not always possible to publish all that have been submitted. We will, however, try to publish comments that are representative of all received.
  3. We ask that comments are civil and free of libellous or hateful material. Also please stick to the topic under discussion.
  4. Please do not write in block capitals since this makes your comment hard to read.
  5. Please don't use the comments to advertise. However, our advertising department can be more than accommodating if emailed:
  6. If readers wish to report offensive comments, suggest a correction or share a story then please email:
  7. Lastly, read our Terms and Conditions and Privacy Policy

Which long-term investment option is more attractive to you at the moment?