FIFTEEN-YEAR-OLD Ava-Gaye James’ fear is not of failing in life but of not getting the chance to live and grow up.

The 10th grader is confident that, through hard work, she can achieve her dreams of becoming a paediatrician and improving conditions inside her tough inner-city community.

But she has fears that are difficult to shake, particularly at nights when she lies nervously in bed inside her house on Balcombe Drive in Waterhouse, St Andrew.

Over the last couple of months there has been a flare-up in violence in the community, which the Olympic Gardens Police attribute to “gangs fighting over turf”.

“The war kind of starting up again, and I am afraid that I will not grow up; that gunmen will kick off my door and kill me,” the teen candidly told the Sunday Observer two weeks ago.

Ava-Gaye’s 15-year-old friend Mohammed Lamont had similar fears.

On April 10 this year, gunmen reportedly kicked in the door to his house on neighbouring Olympic Way and shot him dead.

“Since the gunmen kill my friend I am even more afraid,” the Greater Portmore High school student admitted. “After it happened, many of us (community children) could not eat or sleep because we felt bad, and we were fretting that we could be next.”

Since then, she added, whenever the gunmen decided to go on a rampage inside the community, she usually has a sleep-over at the house of her best friend Crisan Hunter, who lives nearby. Ava-Gaye, only child of Icilda Brodfield – a domestic helper – explained that she would share a bunk bed with Crisan, as they silently prayed to make it through the night together.

“She sleeps on the top and I sleep on the bottom; and we put knives under our pillows,” Ava-Gaye told the Sunday Observer.

The girls’ fears are not idle ones.

According to the Constabulary Communication Network (CCN), the police communication arm, 56 children were murdered between September 1 and 13 this year, compared to 54 for the corresponding period last year.

These frightening statistics are real to Ava-Gaye and scores of other children in her community.

“Sometimes when the gunshots start fire, I panic and hide under the bed,” Crisan shared.

At other times, the teen said, she would attach a “taut piece of string” from the door knob to the bed, as this made the wooden door feel “more secure”.

Crisan, who is in the 10th grade at Edith Dalton James High, has even more reasons to fear violent attacks inside her community.

Up to two weeks ago, her father was in the hospital being treated for gunshot injuries.

“He was a cab driver and he got shot,” she said, her voice trailing off. It is painful for her to talk about it.

“Now, I am more scared than ever,” she continued haltingly, adding: “My greatest fear is not being with my family because my father is in the hospital.”

Twelve-year-old Rajae Thomas rarely goes outside to play football anymore. “I feel really scared,” he admitted. “I am afraid of two things: gunmen and heights,” he added.

But although Ava-Gaye, Crisan, Rajae and scores of other children from the community regularly swop stories about their fear of gunfights, they have now found something to cheer about.

The FIWI Computer and Homework Centre on Balcombe Drive has become a sanctuary of sorts. It is a place where they can go to escape life’s harsh realities. For, when the glass doors close behind them, they can leave their fears behind.

“I like coming to the centre because I feel safe inside here,” Ava-Gaye said. “I also get a chance to see my friends, and we learn many interesting things together.”

The centre is the brainchild of community members, and is funded by Tank-Weld Metals, which does business in the area. The centre also got some support from the Social Development Commission (SDC), according to centre manager, Devena Stone.

Rajae, who attends Apex Kindergarten Preparatory, lives next door to the centre and rarely misses a day. “The love I have for learning and my friends was what prompted me to attend,” Rajae said.

A week before his death, Mohammed had penned a letter to Tank-Weld Metals’ managing director, Bruce Bicknell, thanking him for funding the facility.

Wrote Mohammed: “I am a regular user of the centre. It has made an impact on how I live my life. Your money and time is well spent. The centre is more than an Internet place to do homework, it’s my home away from home and all the things that I run from – even the fear of being killed from the gunmen in the community,” said the letter which was dated April 3.

The centre, which officially opened its doors about 17 months ago, is equipped with more than a dozen computers, and caters to an average of 40 children and scores of adults daily.

The children get help with their homework, receive basic computer training, surf the Internet and conduct research.

“I teach basic computer skills to the students. Most, if not all of them have e-mail addresses,” said Stone, who also counsels students and parents. During the summer, she has the children “full-time”.

The children also learn how to construct sentences and write essays, among other things. In addition, a few of them receive multi-media training, which they have been mandated to impart to the others attending the centre.

A highlight at the centre is what is known as the “positive tree”, where the children are required to write and display positive statements about their peers. The centre also offers adult classes in basic computer skills, and runs various workshops to assist parents on a range of issues. The classes are free, and all residents are required to do is register for these two-hour classes.

Meanwhile, the children told the Sunday Observer that their grades had been steadily improving, thanks to the help they received from “Miss Stone” at the centre. For example, Ava-Gaye said, her overall performance in school had improved, even though “sometimes the violence still affects my grades”. Crisan, too, also noted that she was doing much better in school and felt more confident going into the new school year. Rajae, for his part, said he tried “not to let the violence affect my grades. I just try to keep my eyes on the prize”.

For 17-year-old Mark Plunkett, who attends Norman Manley High and “helps out” at the centre when he is not in school, the story was the same. He is usually on hand to assist the younger children as well as adults get over any “IT hurdles” they may encounter. He said the teaching experience had helped him to improve his IT (Information Technology) grades in school.

Stone added that 19 students who attend the centre also passed GSAT this year. “They passed for schools such as Immaculate, Ardenne, Kingston College and Penwood,” she said proudly.

And despite the violence, the children are fiercely loyal to their community, which they want desperately to help change.

“I think this community is great,” Ava-Gaye said, adding, “I just want the violence to stop.”

Crisan believes that a first step toward this process is trying to encourage more adults off the streets and into the centre.

“Here at the centre we learn how to be peaceful. How to speak positive words and how to be helpful,” Crisan said, adding: “All we want now is for the violence to stop and peace to reign and everybody to come together.”

In August, the centre staged an essay competition, sponsored by Tank-Weld Metals, which asked participating students to write on the topic, “How Can I Change My Community and Make it Better?”

In her winning essay, Ava-Gaye made several suggestions to improve her community.

“I can change my community and make it better by keeping school on holidays and teach the children to read and write, because some of the children are slow,” she wrote.

“I want this community to become a peaceful community with no violence and gunshots in our ears every day, and when we want to go to school we can’t because of the war. I want it to stop now, and that’s why I want my community to change, and I am going to change it whatever it takes me to do it,” read another paragraph in the essay.

She won a laptop, and is now hoping her mother can scrape together enough money to pay for Internet service at home. “My mother is trying, but it is not easy,” said Ava-Gaye, who has acquired computer and multi-media skills that she is imparting to the younger users at the centre. She also gets additional help from Plunkett to brush up on her computer skills.

Crisan and Rajae, who placed second and third in the essay competition respectively, received gift vouchers to assist with the purchase of school textbooks.

Clearly, the centre has been helping to transform lives in the community, a fact which leaves Stone feeling fulfilled.

“I feel really good inside when I look at the work we have been doing here,” Stone said. “The centre is a water hole in the desert, an oasis.”

In order to follow up on the gains made to date, Stone, who is currently assisted by Vivienne Dunkley, is appealing for volunteers to come on board and help change the community one person at a time.