They’re stylishly pregnant, somewhat apprehensive, but determined to give mother-hood their very best shot. SO and Boy O Boy’s Michelle Jackson threw a shower for four mothers-to-be at the ever so in-demand Spanish

Court Hotel.

Showers are, by the way, not what they used to be, so eschew all thoughts of a swollen, bedraggled mum suddenly surrounded by a group of women screaming “Surprise!” Today’s ‘surprise’ element would in fact be the wow factor incorporated to ensure that the event is memorable, the gifts that the mum-to-be requests for her bundle of joy, and the food and décor enticing.

Hollywood’s vision of motherhood is alive and well on The Rock, and our young mums-in-waiting are willing players.

“I’m reading four books on motherhood, and all at the same time,” shares first-time mum-to-be Melissa McIntosh. “I’m wondering if it’s not information overload, but I want to be prepared.”

Preparation is indeed the buzzword from here to Tinsel Town. Today’s mum is a lot more curious, asks questions, is a celebrity baby blog habitué, watches BabyTV, interrogates her doctor, knows the sex of her baby, weighs the options of vaginal delivery versus Caesarean section and organic baby lotion by Baby Breaux versus Johnson’s baby lotion (not to mention Novena maternal lotions and potions for pregnant mamas). Then, of course, there are the sleepless nights spent contemplating the baby’s name.

Entrepreneur Kimisha Walker is pregnant with her second child. “I had a really great first pregnancy, even though I ate way too much and put on an enormous amount of weight as a result. This time around, I’m a lot more careful,” she shares. The Adam and Eve spa director, who is heavily influenced by fashion (hence the choice of the name Kimora for her firstborn), does not yet know the sex of her second child but tells SO that fashion might still influence the naming of the baby.

ATL director Jaime Stewart McConnell likes the challenge of finding a non-traditional, edgy name and called her firstborn Penelope Sky Jarrett. Terri-Kay Robinson, whose first child is called Liv, is still contemplating the name of her second. She believes that a lot of thought should be placed on a name because, after all, the name should reflect who the child is.

“Despite what a name sounds like, at the end of the day its meaning is more important to me… many say a name should reflect who a child is, but you name a child before its born, when it’s impossible to reflect who they are…when a parent focuses on the meaning of the name, a child will forever have a reference point of their parents’ vision of them even before they came into being,” she notes.

Meanwhile, Melissa McIntosh, the new mum on the block who’s not quite certain of her baby’s sex, tells us that her hubby Mark is contemplating names and even went shopping for her maternity clothes.

Of course, there’s a collective Ahhhh from all the other mums-in-waiting.

The stress of pregnancy is reduced during pre-natal yoga classes, a must for new and second mums. Shower planner Michelle Jackson’s customised baby shower invites speak to the tranquillity of the event. As such, certified yoga instructor Ursula Wiesmann is retained to take the ladies through a restorative programme, with poses that are deeply supported

by blankets, blocks, straps and other props. It is

well received by the ladies who, soothed by the music, move into comfortable poses.

Tea follows with personalised teabags, sushi,

open-faced sandwiches, pastries, including Pastry Passion-assorted cupcakes, hand-rolled candies, and giant lollipops. A Selena Wong gateau, naturally, takes centre stage.

Now our ladies are comfy and ready for our first nursery rhyme game. With SO taking the role of quizmaster, our mums write the missing words on elegant stationery: Mary had a little lamb, its ‘xxxxxx’ was white as snow and Old Mother Hubbard went to the ‘xxxxxx’. There emerges a winner — Kimisha Walker — and a gift is presented: A Boy O Boy gift certificate.

At modern showers or sprinklers (that’s what those in the know call a shower for child number two), guests get gifts, too. Eggs are given out, as well, but, as Terri-Kay Robinson quickly learns when she leaves her ‘baby’ unattended to help herself to a cupcake, there’s a price to be paid for irresponsibility.

“Life’s just not the same when you become a mother!” suggests Jaime Stewart McConnell.

No idle observation from the fabulous career woman who, not so long ago, juggled hotel and publishing duties, the appliance industry and anything else that needed to be done to ensure the continuity of the Stewart empire. “I tried to do it all and was getting totally frustrated. I couldn’t be all that I wanted to be at work… and struggled with this for seven long months until finally a decision was made… I slowed down and re-evaluated my priorities. I did not want my child to be raised without knowing me.”

The next challenge involved rehearsing in the mirror what she’d tell her father and brother.

Now pregnant with her second child Stewart McConnell works mostly from home where she can better balance family and career. “My friends have seen the difference but, most importantly, so have I. I’m a lot

more relaxed.”

The reality is the modern mum knows that you really cannot have it all, and it’s impossible to try doing it all. Something’s got to give. “Whoever said that we could must have been a man!” says Stewart McConnell.

If this sounds outrageous, toughen up; these ladies have the battle scars and are willing to ‘fess up to the Who, Why and Where. There is no data to unequivocally prove that good parenting equals good children, but they believe that it certainly leaves you feeling a lot better when you can say that you gave it your best shot. These women are perhaps in a better position than most since they are self-employed and not part of the cadre of women forced to work part-time with a pay-cut — ‘motherhood penalty’ for becoming a parent — before returning to the workforce perhaps lower down the rung than they deserve to be. One thing is certain: these ladies represent a paradigm shift and their influence will be felt over the next decade. Morning sickness aside and the epidural on stand-by, their showers are fun and more party-like in their outlook. They have watched and admired their parents and lessons have been learnt and, yes, they have indeed benefited from their largesse. Watch out not only for these mums but the DNA of their offspring.

— NMW

Editor’s Note: Our thanks to our mums-to-be, the staff of the Spanish Court Hotel, Safiya Burton of Pastry Passions, Selena Wong and Michelle Jackson of Boy O Boy boutique.