SO sat down with a few of our favourite dads and shares exclusively with you the lessons learned from their dads that they now use to raise their own sons and daughters.

Happy Father’s Day

GREG DALTON-BROWN: BMW Technical Assistant

From as far back as I can remember, my father, William Dalton-Brown, has said, “Always trust in yourself,” and “You never have to prove anything to anybody except yourself.” The Dalton-Browns are a tight-knit family, but we were always expected to maintain our individuality. My three siblings and I were taught not to follow the crowd. “Always be your own person,” my dad, who is known as Bill, would say when we were young.

I also remember, while I was still living at home, my dad saying to me, “You will be the man of the house one day (I am the eldest son), and you must always protect your mother.” Funny, as she is such a strong and independent person, but I guess he had that old-fashioned Trini view about family.

Dad always maintained that we have fun, and that we must enjoy ourselves no matter what we do, but without breaking the law. That being said, education, honesty, and hard work were to be adhered to. Oh, and sports!! He taught my brothers and me how to play most sports, as he was good at them.

I am proud of where I come from, and of the way my parents brought me up. I would like to pass on all my dad’s life lessons. However, my dad used to say to me, “It’s folly to be wise when ignorance is bliss.” He was adamant that one should let others make their own mistakes. “Not everyone wants to take advice, Greg,” he used to say. “So only give it when they want it.” I suppose that I shall need to take heed when giving my own children advice, while at the same time guiding them down the pathway of life.

CHRISTOPHER LEE: Optician & Owner of X-cel Optics Ltd

“Son, if it was possible to leave what I carry on my shoulders with you, you would be way ahead of the game.” These are the words my father, Edward Lee, used to tell me, but unfortunately we don’t realise the life lessons passed on from our fathers, or mothers, until they are not around to say “I told you so.”

My dad has not been around for the past four years. Frequently I rely on, and often approach, my mother for guidance and extensive research on my father’s past teachings or Life Lessons.

The last moments in life are always somewhat uncomfortable, and only then did I realise what my beloved father had been trying to pass on and instil within me. Health and education stand out as the most valuable lessons passed on from my dad.

He would often say, “Health, under all circumstances, whether rich or poor, is the most important. Without it, there will be no life.” He always placed health before everything else.

The next thing was education. “Once you have had a solid education, no one is able to take it away from you. Experiences can always be shared, but to learn you will have to make your own mistakes,” he would say.

Health and education will always be handed down to my children, and hopefully they will pass it on to future generations. I try my best to open my children’s minds. I credit them when they do well, and explain the wrong. It is then up to them to decide their own outcome. I share past experiences, both bad and good, with them, and we often laugh and cry together.

JOHN AZAR: Managing Director of King Alarm Ltd.

I am truly blessed to have the father that I have, and to have shared such a close relationship with him, growing up. Among the most valuable lessons I have learnt from my dad are that “family is always number one”, “to thine own self be true”, and “a man’s word is his bond”.

My father has not taught me by words alone, but by his example, and I have always respected that he stands up for principle, regardless of how unpopular such a stance may have seemed at the time. I have always been proud to answer in the affirmative when asked if I am Philip Azar’s son, and I hope to set such an example for my children by the life that I lead and the legacy that I create.

I am blessed to have found in my wife, a life partner who shares the parenting ideals that I do. It is important for us to ensure that our children remain grounded at all times, with God at the centre of their lives, while teaching them that a person’s true wealth is certainly not measured in monetary terms alone.

NEIL WILLIAMS: ICT Manager at XSOMO

Here are a couple of values my dad, Desmond Williams, instilled in me and which I try to pass on to my kids.

My dad always said, “The way that you treat people will determine how people will treat you.”

He always emphasised that one should take into consideration a person’s feelings when making decisions, and do unto others as you would want done to you.

Another lesson that I have learnt from my dad is the value and importance of hard work.

Nothing is easy in life, but hard work will bring you success, whether it’s a job, school or sporting activities like go-karting.

I try to impart these principles to my kids, and so far they have done well in what they do, once they worked hard at it.

JULIAN SPENCE: Electrical Engineer & Manager at Dekal Wireless

Early in life my father, Dr Vernon Spence, taught me how to ride a bicycle, and I have done the same with my three children. He enjoyed playing table tennis, so we all learned that. A couple weekends ago, I was at Moorlands Camp and all three children got their first lesson from me.

When on summer holidays up in the Blue Mountains my dad taught me how to make a ‘pea shooter’ out of bamboo and a lasso to catch lizards out of the spine of a palm tree leaf. I have not done this yet with my children. While on summer holidays in Negril, Dad taught me how to catch and hold land crabs so I would not get pinched. Dad also taught me how to bait a hook to fish and, more importantly, how to take a fish hook out of the mouth of the fish after I caught it. My children have all this to look forward to!

As I got older Dad taught me the importance of being able to take off the tyre on my bicycle, and how to find and patch a hole in the inner tube. This came along with all the general maintenance of the bicycle. My daughter has already shown interest in learning these things.

He taught me many practical home repair tips, like how to make wooden wall plugs from scraps of wood so we could put a screw into the concrete wall. This was before the days when you could buy plastic ones. I will have to show my children how to do this, just in case there are no plastic ones around! He also taught me how to pull apart a leaking tap and change the rubber washer. My children watch me when I do these minor home repairs, and they will have to learn them all!

As a teen, my dad taught me two very important things. Firstly, he’d say to me, “If at first you do not succeed, read the instructions.” The second thing my father, who was a doctor, constantly instilled in me is that I was not to expect that he was going to leave a business or large inheritance for me when he died. At one stage in life I showed no interest in school, so my dad sat me down and explained that he was a manual labourer. When he worked he got paid, and when he stopped working he made no money. All this was explained to me to ensure that I never thought that I could take life easy, and that I must study hard and go to University.

I would like to pass on to my children the importance of having a positive work ethic in everything they do, and of handling money the right way. I do show them the importance of community, and that they ought to be willing to volunteer to serve in their immediate community in which they live. I also hope that they will understand the importance of patriotism to Jamaica, the country where they were born and currently live in, even if they eventually choose to live somewhere else in the world. I wish for them to value the relationships between themselves and their families, when that time comes along, and most poignantly to have a personal relationship with the Lord Jesus Christ, because once they have that, it will positively impact every other aspect of their lives.

CHRISTOPHER DEHRING: Chairman of LIME Jamaica

My dad, Alfred Dehring, was a strict disciplinarian who believed in hard work, honesty and integrity. He was incorruptible. Known as Fred, my father was from extremely humble beginnings and we never had money for excesses. But he always taught us to hold our heads high, that we belonged any and everywhere, and that we could be anything we wanted to be. My son and newborn daughter need to believe in themselves more than anything else, and that is the best lesson learned from my dad that I could pass on.

BRIAN LANGRIN: BOJ Chief Economist

There are many life lessons my dad, Justice Ransford Langrin, taught me to shape who I am. He taught me, the value of hard work, integrity, loyalty, dedication, providing support for family, and national service. He truly understood that the real value in life were the things you accomplished for the benefit of society, and not merely personal wealth. My dad had great wisdom, but was always eager to learn new things. Education was paramount in his life and was his emphasis for mine.

I’ve only recently become a parent and I’m thrilled about this new experience. I’ve been blessed with a baby boy, already full of dynamism and potential, and an inventively gifted stepson. Like my father, I will try to pass on the values I’ve learned from him, not just through advice, but by example.

WAYNE VAZ: Systems Engineer at Systems Integration (JA) Ltd.

My father, Douglas Vaz, celebrated his 75th birthday just a few weeks ago and we celebrated the happy occasion with many of his closest friends and family. Although I didn’t commit my thoughts to paper then, I did have occasion to reflect on my father and his effect on my life to this point. I surmised then that my dad had taught me many worthwhile lessons, but that they could be condensed into a few that could undoubtedly stand as tenets for a good life. He taught me that everyone deserves to be treated with respect. He taught me that family is paramount. He taught me that it is never too late to recognise and correct your missteps. Most importantly, he has demonstrated to me that a life conducted with honesty and integrity can never be questioned or challenged.

I came to fatherhood at the fairly ripe old age of 37. Consequently, I was extremely eager to tackle my new role as a parent. The one thing I was determined to do in my new capacity as “Dad” was to shower my children with ridiculous amounts of love. In addition, I have endeavoured to teach them good humour, and to instil in them a healthy level of self-confidence. Having said that, if I were able to choose what of my life’s learning my children would adopt, the list would certainly start with them having God at the centre of their lives. Nothing can be achieved without Him. Teaching them to treat others as they wish to be treated may seem cliché, but it is essential for their healthy interaction with others. My wish list ends with their principles. I would want to teach them that a life conducted with honesty and integrity can never be questioned or challenged. Just like their grandpa taught me.

CHRISTOPHER RECKORD: IT Consultant & Observer Contributor

In hindsight there are a number of things I learned from my father, Maurice Reckord, a retired Supreme Court judge; not through him sitting and expounding these lessons, but just by being an example to us. Everywhere I travel in Jamaica, persons who know dad, and all of them call him ‘Doc’, say the same thing: “That man is a fair and just man”. Even if they lost a court case, they still have positive praises for him. I am trying to teach my kids to be the same way – fair and just.

Through everything, somehow both my siblings and I developed a level of self-confidence and self-esteem that I would like to instil in my daughters.

Finally, my dad placed a sheet with a few famous quotations on a wall in a room where we all studied as kids and one quote stuck in my mind from then until now: “Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people,” attributed to Eleanor Roosevelt. I guess this has inspired me to teach my children to dream big dreams, and that anything is possible!

ELADIO WALKER: Director & COO at Quality Dealers

I look up to my dad, Anthony Walker, with great love, respect and admiration. With children of my own, I now understand the intense love he feels for his children. The lessons I have learned from him are embodied in his character.

As a role model to his children he built a successful business from humble beginnings with hard work, and in doing so always operated with ethics and integrity, even through challenging times. He is a stickler for time (almost to a fault) and believes in getting things done right away. Dad has an uncanny ability to maintain a smile and jovial presence even under severe pressure. He believes in maintaining and fostering his relationships with his friends and his family. He has dedicated his life to his family and his work, and has always generously provided for my family while asking very little in return.

His love for his family is profound and I have learned how important it is to get past any differences, as close friends would, and continue on through life together. Like my dad I hope not just to be a father to my sons, but also a close friend.

Working with him, I continue to learn from my dad every day. I feel I have inherited many valuable lessons from him as he has from his dad (who just turned 97). I strive to embody these general characteristics and hope to pass these values down to my boys. I am proud of my dad, and I’m working to see that when my boys are men, they will feel the same about me.

RICHARD FRASER: Head of Legal & Regulatory at Digicel Jamaica

I am fortunate that throughout life my father, Michael Fraser, has always been there to support and help guide me to become the man I am today. He has always been patient and understanding, no matter what the issue was or is.

He has always approached life with a sense of optimism and happiness, no matter what the circumstances have been or are.

These are qualities that I truly admire, and they have been central to his influence on me, and those that are a part of his life. I hope, and aim, to give my kids much the same.

DAVID MCBEAN: Technology & Management Consultant & Director of David McBean & Associates

There are several important aspects my father, Alfred McBean, would stress to me and my brother while we were growing up:

“You are your sibling’s keeper,” he would say. As brothers growing up, we had to show that we were looking out for each other at all times, and would share everything with each other.

“Doing well is its own reward.” I now translate that into excellence being a habit. We were not rewarded for doing well in school per se, but we always got toys and other goodies, and had to do the best we could. The end result is that we now strive for excellence as a matter of course.

“Life is fun,” he’d stress to us. A strong memory I have of my father is of him playing all the games and doing stuff with us. We grew up in the country, so whether it was marbles, playing with a gig, yo-yo, kites, board games, whatever it was, he was there with us.

“Not because I play with you means you won’t be disciplined.” Every time we would be disciplined, there would be a lengthy explanation as to why the punishment being meted out was in line with whatever we had done wrong. Most of the time, the lectures were more painful than the punishment!

Respect and discipline were very important. We always had to show great respect to people, particularly adults, while growing up, irrespective of their social station. Also, because both our parents were school principals, we were acutely aware that we had to be exemplary in terms of behaviour and deportment. We did find ways to get into mischief, but we were always conscious of the boundaries.

“Learning can be exciting” was a favourite saying of his. We learnt about things in a fun way. So education and knowledge were things we were curious about, not drudgery.

Having a moral compass was absolutely necessary. We grew up in a strong Christian household, and so morals, ethics and values were taught to us from an early age.

As I grow older I realise the value of all these life lessons. However, what I hope to impart to my kids is that they need to be the best they can be, and I will be happy with that. It is important that they learn to respect the people around them, and those with whom they come in contact. I would like them to always strive to be in harmony with the Creator and their fellow man, loving their neighbour as themselves, and, of course, to always remember that family is to be the centre of everything.

TIMOTHY WILSON: Attorney-at-law

The best lesson that I learnt from my father, Donald Wilson, is that the most important things to give children are love, support, time, and an education. Love and support give kids confidence to grow and express themselves as individuals within a family and the wider society. This should be expressed in actions as well as words. “I love you” is a simple but powerful statement that validates children as people, as they experiment with their young lives.

Time is more valuable than any material thing will ever be, and children notice time spent with them long after the novelty of a new toy has worn off. Time is not merely being in someone’s presence. It is of particular significance to be focused and engaged with your children when spending time with them, as they are very sensitive to small things like responses to their questions and participation in their imaginings. It is in the time spent with children that the values of generations are passed on, and bonds of family are developed. I strive to pass on this, in particular, to my daughters.

Finally, my father often said that one of the most important things that he could give me was an education, as this stays with you always and can never be taken away. The lesson for me was in seeing education in the wider context of the word, meaning the academic, cultural, social, and spiritual development of a person from the young child to the adult they were born to be.

JOSEPH COOPER: Imports Manager at Jamaica Broilers

What have I learned from my dad, Paul Cooper? I think it is best to ask, “What haven’t I learnt?”

Dad has taught me many things, but here are just a few dailies!

Firstly, and most importantly: God first. Make God my focus. Make Him a part of my daily life; in everything simple and in everything complex, He’s got to be a part of it. And for everything, thank Him abundantly.

Dad taught me to be honest and upfront. He’s taught me to let persons know where they stand with me and what to expect from the get-go. I am never to let anyone leave me with a thought or impression that will not materialise, and I am always to give persons the benefit of the doubt, without compromising what I know to be right and proper.

I also learned from Dad to help people, especially the needy. No matter what the need is, great or small. As long as I am able to help, then I must help, and help with an open heart. I have also learned from Dad the value of family. Family is always there, through thick and thin. I must share and care, treasure and love them.

These are just a few principles that I pray to teach and to pass on to my son.

BRENDAN NASH: Cricketer for Jamaica & Kent, UK

The most important values my dad, Paul Nash, taught me were: to be respectful to others, especially elders; to listen to what people who know you have to say, no matter how hard it is to hear; and always be calm in decision making, not allowing emotions to influence your decisions.

I would definitely like my children to learn about being respectful to others and having a calm nature.

MICHAEL SUBRATIE: Managing Director of T Geddes Ltd

My dad, Stafford Subratie, always says, “Dream big dreams, believe in yourself, trust in God, and work hard so that those dreams can be a reality.”

The key thing is do not waste your time, letting life slip through your fingers, by living in the past or wondering and worrying about the future.

Be grateful for what you have now, and not too overly concerned with what you don’t have at the moment. Believe in yourself, follow your heart and keep chasing your dreams.

Live life to the fullest, love with all your heart, and laugh as much as you breathe.

Emma’s Father’s Day Captions:

Photos: Karl McLarty

Julian Spence

Julian Spence reads to his adorable children (from left) Gabriella, 10; Ethan, five; and Zaccary, eight.

Neil Williams

Neil Williams helps his children Matthew, (right) 16, and six-year-old twins Trey (left) and Zander build the Thomas and Friends train set.

(Missing from the picture is his daughter Melissa, who is currently studying at McGill University in Canada).

Gregory Dalton-Brown

Gregory Dalton-Brown with his three-year-old son Finn.

David McBean

David McBean plays with two-year-old twins Maceo (left) and Onyeka.

Timothy Wilson

Timothy Wilson with daughters Elle, four (left), and Zara, six.

Christopher Reckord

Christopher Reckord shares a warm moment daughters Lauren, five, and Hannah, seven.

Chris Dehring

LIME Jamaica Chairman Chris Dehring plays with his four-month-old daughter Shiloh.

Christopher Lee

Dr Christopher Lee with his three-year-old son Cameron and stepdaughters Ashley, 19; and Kathryn Lee, 13.

Michael Subratie

Michael Subratie shares a tender moment with daughters (from left) Cristina, eight; Lisa, three; and Anna, four.

Wayne Vaz

Wayne Vaz with his daughter Emily, six, and son Dylan, seven.

John Azar

John Azar with children (from right) John Jr, 10; Samantha, five; Jessica, four; and Daniel, seven.

Brian Langrin

Brian Langrin completes a jigsaw puzzle with son Jacob and stepson Nathan Campbell, 12.

Eladio Walker

Eladio Walker helps sons Cyrus, two, and Phoenix, five, select toys.

Richard Fraser

Richard Fraser with daughters, two-month-old Emila and Zara, three.

Brendan Nash with his two-year-old daughter Hallie.

Angelie’s Father’s Day Captions:

Timothy Spencer, director of Joseph Holdings Ltd

My parents divorced when I was an infant, so I didn’t grow up with my father Garth Spencer. The void that caused has taught me to be the father I am today – Anna and Luke’s father, completely devoted to them, loving and caring for them, and I never want them to live without me. I must say, though, that genes are stronger than anything else, and I am like him (my father)in many ways. I especially inherited his charm and sense of humour and have learned from him over the years how to use these to disarm people.

Adam Gomes, airline pilot

My dad Richard taught in a different way, I think. For him it was leading by example. And discipline when we did a big no-no. I intend to teach my kids the importance of patience and communication, like he taught me. When we did something wrong but he felt we didn’t know it was wrong the punishment was to sit and listen to him talk about the consequences of what we had done. Also, I think two parents are important to balance the level of strictness. We were also allowed to plead our case at times before punishment. A sort of trial by reason.

Orrett ‘DJ Bambino’ Hart, radio personality

Life lessons learned from my father, Orrett Hart, which I currently, and will continue to, instil in my child:

o Always be yourself.

o Keep genuine friends.

o Try to be optimistic and have a good sense of humour in all situations.

o Regardless of the result, make sure that what you do, you do your best.

o Don’t let anybody tell you that your dreams are futile.

o Always put the toilet seat down after using it: this lesson will earn you brownie points with the ladies later on in life.

Bruce Bicknell, Tankweld Metals managing director

My father David taught me many lessons in life and one of them is a healthy and engaging concern for people – not just your friends, associates and immediate family, but the less fortunate as well. My work with sporting clubs and other social groups within the inner city reinforces this lesson in a practical way and has helped to develop in me a sense of community and service. And this is what I also try to pass on to my children – the humility and satisfaction that come from caring and sharing.

Kirk Kennedy, president and CEO of Kencasa Construction and Project Management Ltd

Father of Jonathan, Julian, Jordan and Jaedan

My father died when I was three and my mother didn’t remarry until I was 18 so I spent the majority of my childhood and young adult life without a father. This made my situation a bit different, especially since I was off to university overseas by the time I was 21. I’ve used my experience of not having a father, particularly in the more formative years of my life, to guide how I raise my children. This, coupled with the values my mother taught me, who, in a manner, fathered me throughout my childhood and early adult life, are what guide me daily. I am therefore involved, very involved, in all aspects of their lives and we do a lot together. Having all boys, that’s a lot of activities which include school, swimming, music, track meets and football matches.

Marc Lawson

My father, Dennis Lawson, has taught me how to love unconditionally.

Amilkar Torres, group product delivery director at Digicel

Three things that I learned from my father, Pedro Torres which I am passing on to my children, are:

o Core values and principles on how to be a good person, fair and respectful to others.

o Love and appreciation for nature and its gifts and our role in preserving it

o Hard work and dedication will give you the results you want.

Yussuf Migoko, computer programmer

A lesson learnt from my dad, Abdul Migoko, in my early days in Dar-es-Salaam, Tanzania, was the importance of religion and the family, and of course, providing for the family as the head of the house. Being born Muslim, I would accompany my dad to prayer and worship, as he taught me about life, which was what gave us a chance to bond as he would be busy working otherwise. So we not only got to bond physically, but spiritually as well. This helped us to develop that special father/son bond, and now, as a Christian, I look forward to also sharing a similar journey with Israel Lue Migoko.

Gregory Mayne, realtor

I wish I had Jefferson, my father, around more when I was growing up. As a result, I feel at times that I overcompensate with my kids. I spend a lot of time with them individually, and treat them each as such… individuals. I think it’s a winning formula to have them grow up to be the best they can be.

Captions:

Angelie’s Father’s Day Captions:

Bruce Bicknell

Bruce Bicknell with children (clockwise) Leah, Jacob, Adrian, Blaise and Alexander.

Marc Lawson

Marc Lawson plays with his six-month-old daughter Ariel.

Kirk Kennedy

Kirk Kennedy with sons Jonathan, 13; Jordan, five; Jaeden, one; and Julian, 11.

Timothy Spencer

Timothy Spencer with his daughter Anna, seven, and son Luke, two.

Adam and Joshy Gomes

Adam Gomes plays in the sand with his two-year-old son Joshua Alexander.

Orrett Hart

Orrett ‘DJ Bambino’ Hart with his four-year-old son Prestley Micah Isles. (Photo: Wendy-Anne Khouri)

Amilkar

Amilkar Torres enjoys some quality time with his daughters Nicole, seven (left), six-month-old Zoe (centre), and Axel, five.

Gregory Mayne 2 (inset Gregory Mayne1)

Gregory Mayne and his wife Michelle Myers-Mayne (centre) with their beautiful children (from left) Giorgio Mayne, Alliana Bovell, Giovanni Mayne, Emily Mayne, Gregory Mayne, Bianca Bovell and Danielle Bovell. (Inset: Gregory with his eldest daughter Nolla at her graduation ceremony.)

Yussof Migoko

Yussuf Migoko with his new bundle of joy, Israel Lue. (Photo: Mark Anthony Chen)

Richard Pandohie

Managing Director Carreras Limited

My late father Richard Theophilus Pandohie was very passionate about the game of cricket, and so many of the principles that he passed on were via the game. The lessons that stand out

in my mind that I have tried to pass on to my own sons are:

No matter how tough the circumstances are, do not throw your wicket away. In other words, keep battling away, as long as you are at the wicket there will be opportunities to make runs.

Compete hard. If you are in the game, make sure that your presence is felt.

Have lots of fun. Life, like cricket, is how you see it; have fun, see the humorous side of life but constantly keep your eyes on the prize.

Appreciate and enjoy life; even the simplest things can create absolute joy.

Enjoy and appreciate what you have, and do not be distracted or upset about what others have. There will always be persons more gifted, more

materially blessed than you are but this does not take away from your capacity to have an absolutely fulfilling life.

Always give back to others less fortunate. Sometimes it may not be material things, but your time and energy can be just as invaluable.

Be loyal to and protective of the ones you love. This not only includes the immediate family but friends who are there, no matter your circumstances and the persons who you will meet in your life journey, who will have a positive impact on you.

Richard Pandohie and his sons: Nicholas (right),13; Sebastian, (left), 9; and Nathaniel, 8.