Dear Career Advisor:

I am seeking your opinion on a personal matter that could affect my professional life. I am a young professional who, if I may say so myself, has done very well since I started with my company five years ago. Recently, a really gorgeous young lady joined our staff. I was immediately attracted to her. We developed a strong friendship but now I must say I am deeply in love with her. We work in the same office and we can tell by the comments that persons are aware of our relationship. Someone recently suggested that such relationships are bad for business. Should our personal life be of concern to the company? Can we be penalised for our relationship?

Tyrone

Dear Tyrone:

Romance between co-workers is not an uncommon occurrence. Some organisations, however, have a no-tolerance policy in relation to this and in such instances will forbid or discourage employees from becoming romantically involved. Even if no such policy exists, you still need to be guided by a professional code of conduct, as office romances can lead to broken hearts, and perceived or actual business compromises. If there are no clear policies regarding office romantic relationships, there will be no basis on which your company could penalise you. Your personal life, if conducted in a professional manner, should not affect or be made to affect your work.

I trust the following general guidelines which follow will prove useful:

* If there are no clear company guidelines on office romance, find a discreet way to get feedback as to the company’s position from your Human Resource Manager or other senior employees.

* Ensure that you or your partner are not the only ones to sign off on any business transaction and, if this cannot be avoided, ensure that the company’s rules are strictly adhered to.

* Maintain professionalism at all times, always being cognizant of how your relationship might be perceived or how it might affect others.

* Maintain power/position balance — If one of you is in a supervisory role, be aware that decisions taken in respect of your partner might be seen as favouritism. On the other hand, for the one in the subordinate role, rewards or promotions could be viewed as not deserved thus putting your credibility and integrity on the line.

* Be aware as well that if the relationship later fails, one partner could be accused of sexual harassment.

* Be discreet — While there is no need to be secretive, deceptive or embarrassed by your relationship, it is important to be discreet and keep romantic overtones outside of the office.

* Try to maintain a balance — Keep your actions and utterances such that if there is a break-up you would not be embarrassed or left with discomfort when having to work closely with the other person.

Here is one final (bonus) note: Allow your relationship to progress through the natural stages of bonding and development. Do not equate time spent in the office environment and in working in close proximity to relationship development.

All the best for both your love life and work.