A YouTube star by the name of Matthew Santoro has recently come out with a video telling the world that he was abused by an ex-girlfriend.

In his video he details how the abuse happened, how long the situation was going on, how he finally got out and how other men can get out of abusive relationships with their female partner. He did this all while shedding tears after almost every two sentences.  

His video was met with mixed reviews. On one hand most comments were quite supportive and positive, applauding Matthew for his bravery and sympathizing with his issue. On the other hand people sought to downplay his issue and accused him of being ‘unmanly’. It is truly sad to say that, if this man had spoken up and out against his female abuser in a Jamaican environment, the backlash would be more negative than positive.

It is quite clear that Jamaican men place a high value on looking, feeling and sounding traditionally masculine. Expressing emotions and showing vulnerability for most Jamaican men are a big no-no. One runs the risk of being called “soft”, “gay”, a “gyal”, and a bunch of other words that downplay his masculinity if he steps outside the ‘manly’ box.

It’s hard to imagine a Jamaican YouTube comments section showing as much support as Santoro received.

But expressing emotions and showing vulnerability doesn’t make you soft or any less of a man. In my opinion it makes you seem stronger. Words and feelings have the ability to knock anyone down as hard as a fist can, whether you are male or female.

This bottling up of emotions is the cause for the extreme violent and aggressive behavior that is so common in many of our Jamaican men. Perhaps there are lessons to be learnt from Santoro.