You’ve seen it on Instagram, you’ve seen it on Twitter and you’ve seen it in person – persons who burn the midnight oil night after night and keep going long after everyone else decides to quit. But as unthinkable as it might be in this pervasive ‘the grind don’t stop’ or work ’til you drop culture, it is okay to quit. Or at least, I think it is.

I myself, am no stranger to quitting. In my short life I’ve already quit dance lessons, piano lessons, chess club, sign language club, badminton and Girl Guides, much to my parents’ chagrin. (And, #humblebrag: I think I’ve got a whole lot of quitting left in me). Still, I am also familiar with the guilt and pressures of ‘keep going’ culture, having stayed in a number of clubs, activities and programmes long past quitting time, even when I didn’t really want to.

In the era of self-care and #mentalhealth we may never have been as close as we are now to giving reasonable consideration to the emotional and mental well-being of ourselves and each other. And yet, the pressures of capitalism and the allure of elitism often prevail. From a tender age we are encouraged to do more and more so that we can be or appear to be worthwhile and important, and either cement our places in the high social class we are already part of, or attain social mobility and high regard. Nevertheless, the fact of the matter is sometimes self-care demands that we quit. While the ‘grind don’t stop’, we are human beings and we have to. We all need to take breaks from time to time and slow down, for our physical health, sanity and the sake of balancing other important social responsibilities and relationships. Constant late nights, long hours at study or at work and remaining accessible for any kind of work at all times is draining and makes Jack or Jill a very dull boy or girl.

It is also worth considering that sometimes good sense simply demands that we quit. Let’s not beat a dead horse (or live ones, for that matter); sometimes things don’t work out or won’t work out no matter how hard we try and how much we want them to. Now, we know that winners never quit and quitters never win, and blah blah blah. (This statement is equally clichéd and true – you can’t win if you don’t try and even if you’ve tried but didn’t persevere as necessary you wouldn’t be able to win.) But this formula for success presumes that what you are trying to ‘win’ at is healthy, productive, a good fit for you and a good use of your time and energy, and we all know that not everything we try to do in a given day let alone a week or month or year is a good fit for us or a good use of our time and energy.

Ultimately this push and pull, and this balancing act often causes us undue stress when we have to decide whether to keep pushing or just quit. Is this thing really toxic or am I just unmotivated? Is this a waste of my time and energy or am I just looking for an easy out? Is it time to quit or should I just go harder?  The fact is, I don’t know and most persons around you won’t know either, but you might. When you get to that crucial point where you must decide whether to quit or keep going, it is important that you make the decision yourself and after fairly careful thought. It is also important that you don’t hang your hat on quitting or on persevering fool speed ahead no matter what, as every situation is different.

It is okay to quit, because it is okay to try. If you’ve been brave enough to try something, you can be brave enough to quit it if needs be. Just be sure to take all the lessons you’ve learned with you on your next temporary try-out, quickie quitting spree or adventure of a lifetime.

Quit while you’re ahead or keep on keeping on – you decide.

— Charlene Buchanan