These violent delights

Have violent ends,

And in their triumph die,

Like fire and powder,

Which as they kiss, consume.

The sweetest honey is loathsome

In his own deliciousness,

And in the taste, confounds the appetite.

— Shakespeare, Romeo and Juliet

Violent delights, fire and powder, consume, violent ends, die. All those words that are attributed to love, lust and passion. And where do you find plenty of this happening but in love triangles? A triangle by definition in geometry is: A three-sided polygon that consists of three edges and three vortices. The most important property of a triangle is that the sum of the internal angles of the triangle is equal to 180 degrees. This property is called angle sum property of triangles.

There are various types of triangles, with perhaps the most famous being the isosceles, maybe because of the little poem that goes with it.

‘Two sides equal, one side not,

Isosceles is what you got.’

There are other little poems and ditties associated with triangles, but I won’t get into that right now as this is not a geometry class. What I will get into is the triangle of love, and these usually have three sides but not necessarily equal angles.

They say that every story has three sides — my side, your side, and the real side. It all depends on whose perspective you’re dealing with.

There actually is a triangle of love, with the three sides being intimacy, passion, and commitment. There is also the love triangle which is a romantic relationship involving three people. This can be one man and two women, one woman and two men, or in this crazy mixed up convoluted world, three men or three women.

But unlike the geometric triangles that have equal angles and straight line sides, these romantic triangles have no basis in geometry, mathematics, logic, but follow an emotional tangent with its own perspective.

We’ll align with those angles today, right after these responses to ‘Stress factors’.

Hi Tony,

It can’t be a coincidence that the horoscope that appeared on the same day as your column in the Sunday Observer stated, ‘The amount of stress and worry in the air today will make it difficult to relax and focus.’ I have trained myself to put out of mind the things that I have no control over, and clear my mind before going to sleep at night. This works for me, and there are other activities that work for others, such as exercise, training, lifting weights, tennis, yoga, tai chi, karate, and sex.

Samuel

Hey Tony,

I used to be stressed out all the time. I was filled with anxiety, trepidation and nervousness and was constantly a nervous wreck. Every morning I woke up I was stressed, through the day at work I wasn’t stressed, but at night at home I was stressed. Fortunately, I discovered the source of my stress and kicked her to the curb, not literally of course. I’m at peace now. Divorce is a great stress reliever.

Robert

‘A love triangle is all about that person in the middle trying to feel special.’

‘You said you loved me, but then fell for someone else. It will be better if you choose that person, since if you really loved me, you wouldn’t have fallen in love with someone else.’

‘Don’t let two men fall in love with you, girls, it’s not the sort of thing that ends well.’

‘Patience and tolerance are the only two things that can lead you out of a love triangle.’

‘Most of these love triangles are wrecktangles.’

There are so many quotes about love triangles that could fill a book, and many are as old as time itself. Most end up the same way — very badly.

Somehow people seem to enter these triangles without even giving thought to what’s going to happen down the road, the consequences. Even when warned, they still rush in where angels fear to tread. What fools these mortal be.

As the above quote alluded to, violent delights. It also warned of violent ends. Yes, these love triangles often end violently as we oftentimes see in the news reports. In the love triangle though, there are always three different perspectives from three people involved. Let’s say that it’s a man and two women.

From his perspective he’s having the time of his life, as he juggles two women at the same time. He has his wife at home, and the other woman on the side, the satellite.

His home is secure, safe, stable and he still has sex occasionally with his wife, just to maintain a semblance of normality. But he has lots of sex with his mistress, for that’s where the violent delights ignite his passion. What a delightful, delectable, delicious ring that has to it.

He has the best of both worlds, as he can have all his meals at home, have his laundry done, and when he wants to participate in welcomed sex, he has his mistress to accommodate him. She never refuses his advances, not like at home where he has to consider himself fortunate if his wife accommodates him.

Then there is the perspective of the wife. She more than likely knows about the love interest that makes up the third side of the triangle, but as the old saying goes, play fool to ketch wise. The man thinks that she’s not aware, but she knows.

Some women may turn a blind eye to that third angle of the triangle, others may exist in denial, believing that it isn’t happening, while some will actually confront the man about it.

“You think that I’m a fool, I know that you have another woman.”

The reactions may differ, for whereas some women will be filled with hurt, anger, and indignation, there are some who simply accept it as being par for the course.

“As far as I’m concerned, he can have his little fling, is so man stay.”

Some aren’t as accommodating though, and it’s hell and powderhouse.

“I’m leaving and I’m taking everything — the house, the cars, the children, everything.”

Many men have been left in financial ruin because of the indiscretions of a love triangle that exploded upon impact.

What about the third side of the triangle, the uneven side, the other woman, the mistress who always lives in hope that her skewed mathematics will somehow add up in the end, even though the equation is stacked against her?

From her perspective the situation is far from perfect, but it will get better, after all, the man told her so. Even though she only sees him when he can get away, and the time spent together isn’t long enough, she lives and loves in hope for a better tomorrow.

She is constantly soothed, mollified, assuaged with reassuring words from her borrowed man. “Don’t worry, baby, I’m leaving her as soon as I sort out things and it’ll be just me and you.” It’s almost become a cliché, played out over and over again, but just like in a geometric triangle, the angle never changes.

Now, what about the other type of triangle, where there is one woman and two men? Say what! These things really happen? Ha, wake up and smell the coffee, especially the beans that Joe grinds constantly.

“Two guys, and I love them both, loyalty divides and subtracts me from both of them.” — Anonymous.

Sometimes women are torn between two lovers, not knowing what to do, as the song says. Then there is Me and Mrs Jones, sung by Billie Paul.

But what about the perspectives in that type of triangle? What is the husband’s point of view? Well, in most cases it’s not very pleasant, as it’s hardly likely that he’ll discover her infidelity and take it laying down, even as she lays down for Joe, who grinds more than her coffee.

From his perspective he’s been made a fool of, and someone has to pay. She, on the other hand, is enjoying the ride, yes, but she’s also torn by guilt and conscience…sometimes.

“I don’t know how long I can keep this up, plus, if he finds out, he’ll kill me.”

The man on the side though, the man matey, Joe the coffee grinder, the third side of the triangle is having a ball with a ready-made wife who goes home every night to her husband. He has all of the pleasure but none of the pain.

More than often he doesn’t want a deeper relationship with her. His perspective is, “Why should I take on the responsibility of a wife when I can have one with no strings attached?”

Interestingly, the outside man doesn’t mind her having sex with her husband, even though traditionally no man wants to know that his woman is having sex with another man. That’s because from his perspective, she’s not really his woman, but just a good time coffee that he grinds at will.

Nothing lasts forever and one day the bottom of the bucket will drop out. Those violent delights do have violent ends, for despite the different perspectives of the love triangle, one thing is certain — pain and heartache are inevitable.

One triangle, three different perspectives, three sides to a story, but only one unhappy ending.

More time.

seido1yard@gmail.com

Footnote: I really loved economics while in high school, and felt proud to have actually passed it at GCE ‘A’ Level. I remember the theory of the trade cycle that outlined the natural cycle of economics where there’s an upward path followed by a downward swing. Ergo, expansion, peak, contraction, and trough. Prices increase, chased by wages, which fuels inflation, then recession. It’s inevitable, but some countries manage to control it to some degree, others don’t. The economy of Sri Lanka has collapsed, the USA is on the verge of a possible recession. Sometimes when I hear some of our erudite economic experts speak I have to wonder. Maybe they missed that class. God bless my ‘A’ Level economics and the late Isaac Henry who taught us.