A thousand kisses

Buys my heart from me,

And pay them at thy leisure,

One by one.

— Shakespeare

A kiss can be a beautiful thing, and what adds even more to the joy is that there are so many different forms of kissing. There is the kiss on the cheek that shows basic affection, but not in the romantic way. It’s innocent, light, casual, and even done between men in some cultures.

There is the kiss on the forehead, also not heavy and heated and with no desire involved. Then comes the light kiss on the lips that gets a little closer than basic affection — that’s called the chups. This is followed, of course, by the passionate, open-mouthed, wet, sensual kiss that includes the most dangerous organ of all — the tongue.

That’s called the French kiss, for the French are known for their romance, sensuality, and sexuality. The Spanish are known for their fiery passion, and the Italians for their playful romance. I wonder what Jamaicans are known for?

Anyway, that deep passionate kiss has a whole heap of meaning behind it, and is not to be taken lightly. Kisses are so important that they are even conveyed through the air. Oh yes, people even blow kisses to each other as they send and receive those aerial forms of affection across great distances. Let’s not forget the all-important goodnight kiss after that first date, which lifts the evening.

But with all the different types of kisses that exist, a kiss can also be sinister, brutal, dangerous and final, as in Beso De Muerte, the kiss of death, said to be performed by mafia dons on the cheeks of their intended victims who they target for death. There’s also the kiss of betrayal as in the Bible, ‘But Jesus said to him, Judas, are you betraying the Son of Man with a kiss?’

So, kiss kiss. Kiss me neck, and if I owned a donkey I could tell you to kiss my ass too. I’ll just kiss mi teeth and walk away. A kiss is so versatile, as we’ll find out right after these responses to what I had to say about ‘The invisible woman’.

Hi Tony,

I must admit that there may be some parts of a woman that make her totally visible. Case in point, the woman in general may not be totally attractive but may have a great set of legs and an ample bottom that are very visible and will be attractive to some men, me included.

Devon

Toronto

Tony,

I can tell you, I am one of those invisible women that you wrote about. I will put on my best outfit, apply my make-up, splash on a great perfume and walk into a room and no one even sees me. Yet another woman will enter and all eyes immediately turn towards her. Some women have the cloak of invisibility, and I am one of them.

Gretchen

One seemingly simple innocuous kiss seems to have reverberated around the world a few weeks ago and is still creating waves and causing ripples that may eventually swell to the force of a tsunami.

I’m referring to the kiss that was seen around the globe, that mouth-to-mouth planting of lips by the president of the Spanish Football Federation on the lips of female football player Jenni Hermoso, as he congratulated her after Spain won the Women’s World Cup.

This was done in full public view before thousands of people and millions of television viewers. Ironically, Hermoso means beautiful or gorgeous in Spanish, so who knows if the guy got carried away by her name and beauty combined with the euphoria of just winning the World Cup.

The Spanish are known to be hot-blooded, passionate, and romantic after all, so maybe he just succumbed to his basic urges and DNA. Nevertheless, that kiss didn’t seem to go down well with the player or with other factions of the football fraternity who are demanding that the kisser resign.

On the flip side, there are others who are defending the man, saying that the whole thing is being blown out of proportion, and it was just a gesture of congratulations on his part. He refuses to resign but has been suspended by FIFA pending further investigations.

It was Beres Hammond who sang, ‘What one dance can do,’ but in this case it’s ‘What one kiss can do.’ Now, I am by no means condoning the actions of the man, and he had no right to kiss the woman on her mouth without her consent, but on the other hand, I sense a double standard here.

If he was a woman and kissed a male player on the lips would there be such a hue and cry of international condemnation? Women grab men and kiss them on the lips all the time, and we hear nary a word about it. In fact, some men welcome the gesture. But in this day and age women seem to hold the handle, call the shots, and determine what men should or should not do when it comes to any form of comments or touching.

“If I were to kiss you then go to hell, I would. So then I can brag with the devils, I saw heaven without even entering it.” — Shakespeare.

Oh yes, a kiss can be a wonderful, ‘fantabulous’, ‘splendaciuos’ experience that makes people go weak in the knees but strong in other parts of their anatomy.

“Man, when I kissed her my head spin, my heart race and I turn fool fool.”

Some women do have that effect on men, as do some men on women.

“Wow, he’s such a great kisser that he makes my heart beat faster.”

A kiss is so powerful that it can lead to other more serious things, such as heavy petting and eventual sex.

“I never planned to sleep with him, but after that deep, passionate, everlasting kiss I just went weak and couldn’t stop.”

A kiss is also very personal, so much so that even prostitutes will not French kiss a client on his mouth, yet allow him to do all other sorts of sex acts with her. I learned that from research, of course, and not personal experience.

I will do anything for love (but I won’t do that). Remember that song by Meatloaf?

“Were kisses all the joys in bed, one woman would another wed.” — Shakespeare.

Yes, even though kisses are so powerful, they alone may not do for some people. They do bring great joy, and there are women who enjoy kissing and petting but won’t take it any further. Of course, most want more than just kisses, as that last quote implied.

A kiss is very personal, especially that deep, lingering kiss that I mentioned.

“Soul meets soul on lovers’ lips.” — Percy Byshee Shelly.

“When I kiss you it tastes like heaven.”

“One kiss could bind two souls in a second.”

“Life is short, forgive quickly, kiss slowly.” — Robert Dusineau

Yes, a kiss is one of the greatest sensations that couples can feel and share, as it conveys so much deep feeling. It shows affection, it shows warmth, it shows desire, it expresses love. A kiss can also show deception, for a sensitive person will detect any change in the kiss and sense that something is amiss.

“But wait, that kiss feel different. She have man with me!”

It was Charlie Pride who sang, “Kiss an angel good morning, and love her like the devil when you get back home.”

“He took the bride about the neck and kissed her lips with such a clamorous smack that at the parting all the church did echo.” — Shakespeare.

Was that what the Spanish Football Federation president was trying to do with the female player?

But fun and joke aside though, let’s put things in a local perspective. What if after a football match our president of the Jamaica Football Federation (JFF) decided to plant a kiss on the lips of one of our Reggae Girlz, just like how the Spanish guy did it? And also, what if a female director of the JFF did the same thing to a male football player?

Would it have caused such a ruckus? And what if that player was your daughter, girlfriend or wife, how would you react? A kiss is a personal, intimate gesture and we can’t just go around kissing people randomly as we like. That being said though, I don’t think that the punishment should be so harsh for that indiscretion.

Maybe they could tie that man to a tree and let random big burly women kiss him passionately on his mouth as they see fit. Maybe he’d feel how that female player felt when he kissed her. Let the punishment fit the crime.

“I understand thy kisses, and thou mine, and that’s a feeling disputation.” — Shakespeare.

“Teach not thy lip such scorn for it was made for kissing, lady, not for such contempt.”

That’s why some people have kissable lips and others don’t. Kiss mi neck!

More time.

seido1yard@gmail.com

Footnote: It’s said that the first sign of insanity is when you keep on doing the same thing over and over but expect a different result each time. I’m referring to the modus operandi of that security company that keeps on getting robbed frequently while restocking ATMs. They have been robbed five times this year. Even security experts have weighed in, saying that the company should consider changing their method of operation. It’s always the same, the van drives up, the guards take out bags of money, they get robbed. The thieves must be laughing at the simplicity of the operation. It doesn’t take a security expert to figure this out: Change your tactics; use more than one vehicle; change your time of cash delivery.

Do something different for heaven’s sake!