Dear Editor,

As we continue to observe Men’s Mental Health Awareness Month, I thought I would provide some tips to help men deal with their mental health issues.

Many things in life can affect men’s mental health. Firstly, total self-reliance is one of them. Several men prefer to depend on their own strength and capacities to get things done — even if the task is far outside of their expertise — instead of asking for help. Some believe that soliciting help makes them inadequate and it is a sign of weakness.

Secondly, some men face personal and societal pressure to achieve certain things by a particular age — stable finances, house, car, and even having a child. This situation is often compounded by certain high and unrealistic demands that their spouses make. Once they are incapable of fulfilling these expectations, they may fall into depression.

Thirdly, some men compete with other men concerning their physique, fashion, wealth, and status. This competition is further influenced by social media, as many people want to live a celebrity-type lifestyle, coupled with a get-rich-quick mindset. Fewer people want to live within their means and attain growth progressively.

The aforementioned issues have caused numerous men to suffer from trauma; lack of positive, manly validation; and safe zones that allow them to vent without being ridiculed.

Here are a few strategies to manage mental health issues:

1) Make note of your emotions and coping strategies. Men ought to learn to compartmentalise their emotions. What triggers certain emotions that you experience? How do you deal with those emotions and issues when they arise? Make a list of the positive mechanisms that work and continue to apply them.

2) Learn new ways to manage stress. New and repeated problems will arise. Men have to be flexible and learn to rebound quickly. Notwithstanding, some men will require more time and patience to adjust and develop new coping habits. In the midst of it, give yourself some grace.

3) Learn to adjust your thinking. A lot of things depend on our mindset and our outlook on self and life. Assess your days; evaluate the positives and the negatives; celebrate the good; and improve on the weak areas. Affirm yourself. You are worthy and worth it. You deserve being here simply because of who you are.

4) Set realistic goals. Many people are often flustered and feel as though they have failed miserably because of unrealistic and poorly constructed goals. Look at your life and decide what works for you in this particular moment. Once this is done, prioritise what is important.

5) Participate in activities you enjoy. Whenever you feel you are boxed into a dark corner, it is time to get out of your comfort zone. Go play a sport or an instrument. Join a book club. Volunteer in an organisation. Get your brain engaged in meaningful and uplifting activities.

6) Stay on a regular schedule. Combating mental health struggles requires consistency. Make healthy lifestyle decisions and stick to them. Improve your diet. Do some physical activity or go to the gym. Feed your cognitive soul, but do not forget to laugh and entertain. After all, “To everything there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven,” as King Solomon told us in Ecclesiastes 3:1.

7) Seek emotional and spiritual support. There are professionals and spiritual leaders available to help you throughout your mental health journey. Book an appointment with a therapist, counsellor, psychologist, or pastor, etc. Do not suffer in silence.

If you are unwell, you will not be able to effectively fulfil your own objectives and serve others. Real men express themselves and communicate their emotions effectively. To ‘man up’ means to prioritise your mental health.

Oneil Madden

maddenoniel@yahoo.com