Dear Editor,

Every so often we have the national conversation about discipline and what it should look like for children. At its core, the issue is one of definition.

Recently, I overheard two educators lamenting what they called the “blatant disregard for rules” in the education system. Their conclusion? “These children don’t want to be controlled anymore.” That statement stopped me in my tracks. It made me realise just how much our approach to discipline is still rooted in practices inherited from slavery.

The goal of any disciplinary strategy cannot be to “control” children. Instead, it should facilitate self-control and responsible behaviour. Discipline should be proactive, focused on building good habits and nurturing social responsibility. Much of the confusion and tension around discipline could be resolved if we simply reframed how we understand it.

What we often label as “problem behaviours” are really just underdeveloped skills that require guidance. One of my main concerns with the “rules-are-rules” mentality is that we now have children who are asking important questions: Why do these rules exist? What’s the reasoning behind them?

Too many adults take offence at these questions, believing that their authority should not be questioned. But how can we say we want children to be critical thinkers yet get upset when they think critically? We can’t have our cake and eat it too. Asking about the rationale and functionality of a rule is not the same as challenging authority — it’s a sign of growing intelligence and agency.

In undergrad, my ethics lecturer shared a principle that stuck with me: An environment of discipline is easy to maintain when people understand the principle behind the precept and trust that the person enforcing it has a relationship with those under their care.

Let me be clear, this is not an argument for non-compliance. Discipline is essential for social order. But if we want to be effective in creating an environment of discipline for our children, we must reframe the conversation. The goal must never be controlled. Otherwise, we risk replicating the very systems of oppression we claim to have moved beyond.

If discipline is just a tool for control, we’ve learned nothing from our past!

Jaemar Johnson

Behaviour analyst

johnsonjaemar@gmail.com