Confess yourself to Heaven,
Repent what is past,
Avoid what is to come,
And do not spread the compost on the weeds,
To make them ranker.
— Shakespeare, Hamlet

REPENT what is past, avoid what is to come. That is sound, sage, serious advice that everyone should take heed of, especially the line that says, avoid what is to come. Avoid, stay clear of, give a wide berth, or to put it bluntly, don’t go there. But how do you achieve that? Don’t go where? Avoid what? Well, one of the most perilous places that any human being can venture into is the theatre of the absurd, that of relationships.
Those have caused more conflicts, problems, challenges and crosses than all the wars combined in the history of the world. And yet we keep on going back for more. It’s like the moth to the flame, drawn in by its brilliant beauty, only to be consumed by the inferno.
It was Alexander Pope who wrote, “Fools rush in where angels fear to tread.” Even angels with their power and wisdom fear to venture into certain situations, yet reckless fools rush in at their own peril.
And yet, there are usually tell-tale signs and signals that warn those fools not to venture in, but still they take the plunge. It’s like the captain in war who said, “Damn the torpedoes, full speed ahead.”
But they say that if fish come up from river bottom and tell you say crocodile down deh, believe him. If you see lava flowing from a volcano, you should stay clear; if you see dorsal fins in the sea, get out of the water because sharks are close by; and if you see certain characteristics, signs, signals in a potential relationship prospect, then you should also avoid those.
What should we avoid though, what should we stay clear of? The answer, my friends, is blowing in the wind, the answer is blowing in the wind, sang Bob Dylan. Well, we’ll see if we’re to avoid and stay clear of this wind, right after these responses to what I had to say about ‘Man truths’.

Hey Teerob,
Those man truths are most revealing and informative. To tell the truth, I wasn’t aware of most of them, as I grew up sort of sheltered with no father or brothers around me. It’s so true, many women are not aware of the feelings that men carry around and act as if all men are the same. I guess they’re not. Man Truths should be a handbook.
Patsy

Tony,
They say that the truth shall set you free but sadly, some people do not want to hear the truth. Men are not as simple as they seem, but have complicated personalities and characteristics that they make great efforts to conceal. At a glance, most men seem similar, with one thing on their mind, but upon further examination you’ll see that they’re all different. Many women fail to grasp that.
Sandra

Perhaps the most challenging endeavour that a person can embark on is getting seriously involved in a relationship. It surpasses buying furniture, a car, or a house, for those three items are inanimate objects, devoid of any feelings or emotions and incapable of inflicting harm. Well, if you drive the car too fast you could crash, but that’s your own doing.
With a relationship though, there is personality, plus emotions, feelings, motives and frustrations that all go into the cauldron of chaos. Therefore, great care should be taken before taking that plunge. If it’s the right pool it can be heaven, a beautiful experience, but if it’s not it can be like the living hell, with an inferno of agony that not even Dante’s Inferno can match.
This applies to both men and women, and both have very strong views regarding who to avoid when embarking on that potentially perilous journey. Let’s start with the men.
Many have very strong views about avoiding women who are physically stronger or have superior fighting skills than they do. Most men said that they would never date or marry a policewoman or a female soldier. One reason they gave was they fear they couldn’t handle her physically if they got into a tussle.
Also, if there was a situation of danger she’d be the one to rush in and deal with the threat. To me that smacks of insecurity on the man’s part, but I can understand why it’s such a widespread notion.
“I couldn’t deal with a woman who could beat me up — shame woulda kill me.”
It’s been known to happen, and I’ve seen news stories where this former MMA fighter Rhonda Rousey described in her autobiography how she physically overpowered her then boyfriend at one time. She even described the techniques that she used on him. So, it’s a very real and justified fear that many men harbour. Not many guys could deal with that.
Closer home, I have observed husbands forbidding their women from taking karate lessons, and if those women secretly started classes and the men found out, they were forced to stop immediately. In my many years of teaching martial arts I have seen this countless times.
I went as far as to ask one of my male students, “Would you date a female second degree black belt?” He immediately said, “No way.” But apart from the fear, real or imagined, of being physically inferior to the woman, there’s also the fear that in a situation of danger she’d be the one to jump into action.
“Tief bruk inna de house and is mi woman had to deal wid him case.”
That’s a shame very few men could deal with.
So I guess this male insecurity issue is really far-reaching and perhaps understandable. What’s ironic is that I have known very small men who only date or marry very large women, so there are exceptions and variables to that fear.
To take this even further, there are men who avoid woman who earn more money than they do, as that also leaves them with a sense of inadequacy, insecurity, low self-esteem and feeling less than a man.
“I couldn’t move into her big house and drive her car, boss, I couldn’t deal with it.”
And yet, there are men who do just that — seek out women of means and leech off them.
Who should women avoid, though, stay clear of when seeking a relationship? We constantly hear how women are always seeking a good man to settle down with and live happily ever after. But there are many types of men that they should avoid, with the first type being the man who has no ambition and subsequently no money. No matter how the man comes sweet talking and full of dreams and promises, if he has no job or no prospect of earning, he should be avoided at all costs.
Sadly, some women ignore those negative traits and get involved anyway, with a need fuelled by desperation.
“I will take any man at this point in my life; I’m tired of being lonely.”
I always remember this high school star athlete who married his high school girlfriend. She climbed the corporate ladder while he remained locked in his past exploits, stuck in his Champs stardom and never achieved anything in life. Sadly, the marriage crumbled within a year.
Also ladies, avoid men who have children all over the place. That is such a common scenario wherein women meet men with five or six children with multiple women, and then expect that the man will stop with them. It doesn’t happen, as usually she’s just another notch on his belt and she’ll likely end up being number seven.
“I thought that he would have settled down with me.”
Ironically, there are some women who are drawn to men like that, as they see them as being virile and prolific.
This goes both ways, and just recently I saw this video where these women were crying that they couldn’t find a decent man to settle down with. The reason being, these women had multiple children.
“We were talking and having a good time, and as soon as I told him that I had three young children, his mood changed.”
It’s difficult, challenging, daunting for a man to take on the monumental responsibility of an instant family when all that he was looking for was some fun times with the lady. If she only had one child then that could work, and it does in many cases.
But it’s a whole different ball game when, after the second date, he’s introduced to John Jnr, Tom Jnr, Bob Jnr and little Shakwanda, all below eight years old. His mind goes into an instant tailspin, a tizzy, a maelstrom, as the prospect of school fees, book lists, lunch money, shoes and clothes, doctor bills all loom large in his consciousness.
I see this all the time, and I remember a colleague of mine who met and married this beautiful woman who had three young children, with the youngest being less than six months old, still in the crib. Fools rush in where angels fear to tread.
When seeking a relationship, men and women should know who to avoid. Women should avoid worthless, bruk pocket men, and men should stay clear of the instant large family situation, or a woman who is physically stronger than him. Of course, there are other areas, so as the Latin saying goes: “Caveat emptor.” Buyer beware.
More time.
seido1yard@gmail.com

Footnote: Jamaicans love sports of all kinds, with football and track and field leading the pack. Our local football teams are doing pretty well, with Cavalier winning the Caribbean Cup last year and the Premier League two years in a row now, beating the much-vaunted, high-spending Mount Pleasant twice in two years. It’s not how much you spend, it’s how much heart you have. I like Cavalier for their understated, never-say-die attitude and especially because they use so many very young players who are usually just out of high school. They’re touted as being the ‘youngest professional club’ in the world regarding age of players. Congrats, Cavalier and congrats to our football organisers.