Confess yourself to heavens;

Repent what’s past,

Avoid what is to come.

— Shakespeare, Hamlet.

Sometimes we should reflect on the past, of years long gone, and look at the errors, the mistakes of our lives. They say that those who do not learn from mistakes of the past are doomed to repeat them. So we should look at, not only our mistakes, but the mistakes of others, and try not to make them in the future. As the man in the quote up top said, avoid what is to come.

Well, unfortunately, our lives do not have erasers or delete buttons, so once a mistake has been made, that’s it, done deal. But we can use the experience of others, look around and see the folly of their indiscretions and try not to emulate them, making big mistakes in your lives.

Apart from that, you can also heed advice and not make too many big errors in your future, as I will point out. The list is random, not necessarily in any order of importance or chronology, but mark my words, they are all important, so heed them well. A ‘bredrin’ told me just recently that he was talking to two ladies and casually referred to how nice one of their hairdos looked. Before he could even make reference to the other lady, she gave him a look that would freeze Hell. Big mistake, do not ever compliment one lady in the presence of another and not also compliment the other quickly. Big error in judgement.

We’ll find out more right after these responses to my take on ‘Hooked’.

Tony,

Loved the article. I was a cigarette addict for many years, terrible thing to beat, worse than heroin. I have been opposing legalisation of ganja for years, there is no space for narcotics in anyone’s lives.

Sir P

Teerob,

Looking at the cartoon, I remember an experience I had when I just moved out of my mother’s house. I was involved with a divorced woman who was 10 years older than me. In her settlement she got the house in Beverly Hills, alimony, child support, had a good job. One day she said, “The fridge isn’t looking so good.” I responded, “At least you have a fridge, I only have a mattress.” Imagine, she expected me to become the grocery provider and I was just starting out in life. I bolted so fast the soles of my shoes were left in Beverly Hills.

Brian

One error in judgement is starting too young. Yes, you know what I mean. Too many juveniles are indulging in activities that should be best left for those much older. Now, I’m not talking about those wicked old men who frequent high schools and pick up first and second-form girls, but rather those first, second, third and fourth-form children who are indulging in things so wild they would make you blush. Just recently a friend of mine witnessed these two youngsters engaging in sex in the parking lot of a well-known uptown shopping centre. They were both about 14 or 15 years old. Big error in judgement.

An even bigger error in judgement is the parents not believing that their children could be indulging in such a thing; not knowing where their children are, who they are with, or what time they are coming home; and believing them when they say that other kids are doing stuff, but not them. It’s always ‘those other kids’, never me, big error.

Another big error in judgement is spoiling the children, giving them everything except good family values. Now, call me old-fashioned, but those are the things that I grew up with. People write about it all the time, how family values have gone to pot, and is pure leggo beast pickney we have running around. But we can’t blame the children only, but rather the parents, as children live what they learn. Look what’s happening in our schools nowadays, shocking!

But then again, many parents are mere children themselves. It’s a big error in judgement to constantly allow children to watch too much TV instead of reading, not buying them books, ‘blinging’ them out too early, allowing them to drink alcohol, with the lame excuse that, “Oh, I only allow him one per night.” That one may lead to two, and when teenagers get together, they can’t count. Those big errors with those little children can lead to bigger problems down the road and eventually it’s pure hand-wringing, hair pulling, and counselling sessions to try and fix the pickney.

“I don’t know what to do, I can’t manage him, he does no school work, all he wants to do is watch TV and play video games, and now I suspect he’s drinking. I have changed three schools, but nothing seems to work.”

Those manifestations did not materialise overnight, but were nurtured when the parents allowed all those privileges from an early age and found them so cute when the child did them.

A huge error in judgement is marrying for sex. I know that this has caught many men. Women usually have their heads screwed on properly, while men screw headlong improperly. So many men are beguiled, bamboozled, and besotted by sex. It ‘sweet’ them so much that they throw all caution to the wind, are oblivious to the woman’s faults and failings, and jump into the marriage thing, all because of the wild thing.

So, after they do it, and do it, and do it, and do it some more, until they can’t do it anymore, he then realises that’s all there is to her. He discovers that she has no sense, is as shallow as a saucer, can’t hold a decent conversation, can’t cook, and refuses to work. The sex mad him, and now her failings are driving him mad. It’s a common error in judgement, a big one, that has caught many guys. The same goes for beauty too, as many men are into this trophy wife thing.

“Beauty itself doth of itself persuade the eyes of men without an orator.”

Shakespeare again, as even he pointed out the mistakes of men. Luckily women do not often make these errors, as they are guided more by objectivity, practicality, and good sense. Women rarely marry for looks or sex. Heck, women don’t even marry for love alone, but look at the bigger picture and see what potential the future may bring.

“Honey, you’re handsome, great in bed, I love you so much, but I’m marrying Chris instead…he has a good job.”

The big error that women often make, though, is believing the lying lips of men. And what’s strange is that they can spot and decipher the lies of other men, of their girlfriend’s men, but can’t spot the lies from their own men. He tells her that he loves her…before sex…and she believes him. He tells her that he has to work in the country every weekend, and she believes him. He tells her that he’ll soon leave his wife for her, and she believes him. He tells her that he will withdraw before he comes, and she believes him.

It is the big error in judgement of women to believe their men, even when the obvious truth stares them in the face. Both genders make big errors in judgement, but not the same ones.

It’s a big error to try and change people to suit the relationship.

“Sure, I know that he’s gay and that he’s had more men than the whore of Babylon, but I am going to change him.”

Ha! Big error, as gay men do not convert, do not backslide.

It’s a big error in judgement to confide too much in your friends. Do not tell everything, as one day it will come back to haunt you. Big error in judgement to allow your man to videotape your lovemaking, as copies can fall into the wrong hands. Big error to marry a woman who you can’t lift up, for if she faints, you’re in big trouble. Big error to obsess too much on one person, they will own your life.

We are all destined to make errors in judgement, it’s the nature of the beast, but there are some that we can avoid, especially those that I listed. Hey, it’s by no means the
Desiderata, but they certainly are the more common ones that are often made. I’m sure that you can add to the list, but you have been warned.

More time.

seido1yard@gmail.com

Footnote: The current imbroglio regarding the use of the
Hill and Gully rhythm in dancehall music is creating quite a stir, with mixed views, of course. On one hand, some people are saying that it’s desecration of our sacred cultural music, while others are saying that it’s just the evolution and trend of music being produced. The fact is music is a reflection of the mood of the people and has been so for centuries. Some lyrics are crude and not fit for air play, while others are deemed revolutionary and dangerous, depending on what country or era you’re in. Calypso was notorious for bawdy suggestive lyrics. Bob Marley was not always revered, but actually vilified at one time. Creativity has no moral compass. Banning is not the solution. Tastes may vary, but music will live on, whether you like it or not.