MANY people understand their legal rights in theory, but will opt not to use the court system because of fear of the process, the perceived expense, and other people’s shared horror stories.

And so, many parents end up raising children on their own, for example, without the other parents financially contributing; others are denied access to their children; and others remain in toxic marriages because they believe divorces are too expensive.

But there are laws that were developed specifically to help, and here are some people’s stories of how they were able to use these allowances to their advantage, where other people perceive legal hurdles.

Dad got custody, care and control

“There’s this perception out there that the Family Court is mother-centred, but this is not so. Many people don’t understand that both parents have a right to apply for custody, receive custody, and make variations to existing custody orders. When my babymother and I separated, she assumed that she would be the default parent, and this worked for a few years, until I realised that she wasn’t parenting properly, and was taking out her trauma and stresses on the children. I applied for custody, and we both got lawyers, and eventually, the judge decided that it was in the children’s best interest that they live with me full-time, and she gets access, and pays maintenance. It wasn’t even a long or complicated process. Know your rights, men. Once you are an involved father, the system can work for you.”

– Matthew O, dad of two

Mom got maintenance from dad overseas

“I was able to get maintenance from my son’s father who lives in a State in America that does not have a reciprocal agreement with Jamaica. Everyone said it couldn’t be done, but I did it! I first got an order for maintenance from the Family Court in Jamaica. Then, I contacted the district court and child services where the father lives, and asked them to domesticate my court order. They were very willing to work with my certified order, and I went to court via
Zoom in that district. Everything was via e-mail and Zoom! I was awarded support, with arrears up to the date of the Jamaican order, and I get a cheque every week.”

– Taneisha R, mom of one

Mom got protection and occupation order

“I got a protection and occupation from the court in Jamaica against my abusive husband under the Domestic Violence Act, which means he has to stay away from me and my kids, and also from the home we shared, even though he pays the rent. The courts are there to protect you, and you should never be afraid. Leaving your home is not necessary, and the court will bar the abuser from the home to secure yours and your children’s safety.“

– Jhasmine F, mom of three

Dad got weekend and holiday access

“My ex would use every excuse and threat in the book to deny me access to my children, and spent years giving me access then taking away access, based on her mood. She didn’t want them near any of my partners, and just set ridiculous rules, as if she had all the control. She claimed that she was the one who pushed them out, and if I was ever late with paying her money, I couldn’t see them. So I just went to the Family Court. It took some months, and even after I got an order of joint custody and access for weekends, half holidays and stuff like that, she still acted like she was a bigger bully than the judge. So I took her back to court for contempt, and the judge set her straight, and she was ordered to do counselling. It took about two years total to do the whole process, but I can say that now, I am an equal parent and I get to see, and parent my children as the court order says.”

– Callandrew C, dad of two

Doing a divorce without an attorney

“I am doing my divorce myself, without a lawyer. It’s a tedious process, but it is possible to do it on your own. I can’t afford the money lawyers are charging, and because of this, I stayed tied to my ex-wife for years. I started the process, and it’s proceeding well. Once you know the Rules of the court, it is possible to do legal matters on your own, and you have the legal right to act on your own behalf. You must do it correctly as the Rules require, that is the Matrimonial Proceedings Act and the Matrimonial Proceedings Rules.“

– Gary S, separated

Mom got more for maintenance

“Some people say that it doesn’t make sense to take a man to court, because the court will only give them a small amount of money per week. But this is not true. The award is based on both parents’ income, the child’s needs and quality of life, and is not a set sum for every applicant. Always go the route of the court, and never enter into an arrangement with the other parent yourself, when you split. The courts are now modernised, and I was able to receive support which is commensurate with my child’s dad wages. It’s possible, even in Jamaica!”

– Brianna D, mom of one.