Teach your child to use a condom, says Professor
Parents who talk to their children about sex, often extol the virtues of abstinence, but a perceptive parent who suspects his or her child is sexually active, would wisely teach the youngster how to use a condom, says Dr Celia Christie-Samuels, professor of Paediatrics and Infectious diseases at the University of the West Indies.
Lessons on condom use can be taught using a cucumber. It might seem awkward, even embarrassing, but it could help save your child’s life, Samuels told parents and teachers at a St Hugh’s Past Students’ Association-sponsored public lecture on Parenting in the Age of HIV/AIDS, recently held at the Medallion Hall Hotel in Kingston.
She noted that a growing number of HIV-infected teens are showing up in clinics and doctors’ offices across the island. This is not surprising as recent studies reveal that 36 per cent of Jamaica’s teenagers, between ages 10 and19, are sexually active, yet only about 40 per cent report using a condom. Girls age 10 – 19 are three times more likely than boys to become HIV-infected because many report that their sexual partners are older men.
The Caribbean has the second highest number of HIV infections per capita, behind Africa. Also, AIDS is now the leading cause of death among persons 15 to 44 years in the region. Last year alone there were 42,000 reported Caribbean deaths due to the AIDS virus.
According to Samuels, misinformation and a sexually active teen using a condom wrongly can cause that teen to become infected. They should also be told that even while using a condom there is still a significant risk of becoming infected.
“Teach them the correct use of the condom. Use cucumbers and latex condoms. (Tell them to) Check the expiration date on the condom. We need to talk to our children about this,” she said.
But there are other lessons equally important, Samuels said. Besides giving them the facts of life and endorsing good moral values, she advises that parents help their children to develop good decision-making and negotiating skills; teach them to set goals and to be assertive in their communication.
Since it is possible to send conflicting messages, girls, in particular, should be taught how to say no assertively.
“Teach them that they may not have said yes with their mouth, but can say yes by their action, ” she said.
An effective way of saying no is to do so with a strong, but not loud voice, making eye contact and holding an unflinching expression that will leave no doubt as to what they want.
She said a full discussion on sex should not leave out any of the following warnings:
. Don’t do drugs;
. Be faithful to one uninfected partner who is faithful to you;
. Use rubber latex condoms every time you have sex;
. Abstain or delay sex until you have completed your education;
. Get all the facts about sexually transmitted diseases, including HIV/AIDS.
