Why you should marry rich

GIRLS not only want to have fun, but they also want funds and lots of it. This is a widely held belief that led Italian Premier Silvio Berlusconi to recently publicly encourage women to follow the money when looking for a partner.

The statesman said women were generally attracted to him because, ‘I’m a nice guy’ and ‘I’m loaded’.

While Berlusconi’s suggestion might not seem to fit in with the general notion that it is better to marry for love, it’s a philosophy that’s gaining a lot of momentum in a world where monetary power allows for a stress free life and personal security.

In fact, some women have made chasing the rich and powerful a lifestyle, therefore, earning them the title of ‘gold diggers’.

In their book, Smart Girls Marry Money: How Women Have Been Duped into the Romantic Dream — And How They Are Paying For It, Elizabeth Ford and Daniela Drake had no qualms about encouraging gold-digging. The duo who had both married for love, now support the notion that there is no romance without finance and a woman’s best route to success is by marrying rich.

“Instead of looking for love, let’s look out for our own security, the kind you can count in dollars and cents,” the women wrote.

Sociologist and popular talk-show host Dr Orville Taylor said the notion of being ‘minded’ by a wealthy man is the ideal for many Jamaican women who receive a great sense of pride from catching the attention of such a man.

This, he said, started even long before the plantation days when women sought after white or near white men because they were financially loaded.

“It has to do with the whole notion of how women were socialised and the commoditisation of women, where women are taught from a very early age to seek ‘stability’. When you ask about what is stability, it is not so much about the permanence of a union, but it has to do with the man being able to provide,” he said.

While mother of two Nicole Gardner said she had married her husband because she loves him, she admits that marrying a man with money sweetens the marriage. Her husband, a managing analyst who works in Cuba, ensures that she and her two sons are well taken care of and she doesn’t have to work.

“If it was a different case, I probably would have to go out to work, but my kids are able to go to a good school and can take part in any extra-curricular activities they choose,” she told All Woman recently.

For some, the whole notion of marrying for love is considered a glorified Christian one for the most part, which while noble, does not help to pay the bills or guarantee ‘stability’.

“Yes love fine, but the idea of the loving pauper as sung by Rudy Thomas and those other classical Jamaican singers is a bit of a fallacy. When it does happen it’s a beautiful thing, but mothers discourage their daughters from getting involved with the little fellow from down the road who has ambition, but nothing more than the ambition,” Taylor said.

Still women like Simone D, a devout Christian, says she has no problem marrying a man who is not loaded.

“That is not what is important; if he has it that’s a plus, but if he doesn’t have it, it’s not a problem, as long as he is not lazy and unambitious. We can get rich together,” said Simone.

Others like Juanta B have already experienced life with the pauper. She now wants a ‘ready made man’.

“I want to marry rich, so that I can go to the hairdresser often and do my hair and my nails, and so that my salary can actually be my own. If I marry a poor man, then I would have to share my salary,” she said.

Dr Taylor finds it ironic though that women demand equality, even as they take such pride in being dependent on a man financially. A perfect case in point is former Prime Minister Portia Simpson Miller, he said, who though lauded by feminists for being the first female prime minister, had no problem publicly declaring that it was her husband who provided for her financially.

“The fact that she could make a statement like that says something about our culture, that it is indeed the acceptable norm for women to be taken care of by men,” Dr Taylor said.

But the sociologist warned that women who enter in relationships solely for economic gains sometimes pay a high price for this.

“The moment you are going to get involved with a man as a consequence of economic status, you have already dropped your standards,” he said, before adding: “It is not a genuine kind of attraction, it is treating you as a commodity, it is dehumanising, because you then become something that is purchased for a fee.”

Why women marry rich

1. Financial issues lead to divorce: For some, a marriage is a business; it takes money to be functional. Those without usually end up miserable and hate each other, which later leads to divorce.

2. His debts become yours: If you marry someone poor, then it’s highly likely you will become poor too, especially if your husband lacks ambition. All the bad financial woes incurred by him will become your burden to bear the minute you make a commitment to each other. This makes for a very unhappy life.

3. You’ll feel more secure: You don’t have to wonder where your next meal is coming from or if your car or house will be re-possessed. You are able to go wherever you want to and you can buy out an entire clothing store if your heart so desires.

4. Rich men possess more power that the average Joe: You often get more respect from those who would have otherwise looked down on you, and there is some sort of contentment in knowing that other women are dying to get your husband’s attention too. There is no doubt that rich men are often more appealing no matter how physically unattractive they are.

5. It shows that he has a plan: If he has worked hard to achieve his wealth instead of being born into it, then you’ll know he is a man with a plan to achieve great success. He is not allergic to hard work, and you can be sure he already has a financial plan mapped out for both of you.