Tips to avoid his family drama
So it’s official, you two are officially an item! But wait, there is still that matter of his family, especially the mom-in-law, and all the drama that comes along with them. Below, Lies, Sex & Betrayal author Denecia Green shares practical advice for staying out of the drama, which could ultimately lead to the dissolution of your relationship.
1. Avoid solving issues between family members
When there is tension among family members, they may call on that one person who is considered to be neutral to settle the score. Do not allow yourself to be pulled into the drama. If a member of the family is gossiping to you about another relative or attempts to trap you in a situation, let them know you’d rather not become involved. If the individual persists, then politely excuse yourself.
2. Always support your partner
Your boyfriend is more than aware of the problems with his own family that have probably caused him lots of heartache and frustration in his life. Therefore try to remain focused on supporting your partner even when you don’t necessarily agree with his views. Also, never put your boyfriend on the spot in any given situation. No matter how badly his family is behaving, never put him in a position where he has to choose between you and his family. You may just be surprised and disappointed by his response.
3. Limit contact
Never try to prevent your boyfriend from spending quality time with his family. That doesn’t mean you have to join him on every visit. Showing up every once in a while or on special occasions is just fine. If you are called upon to attend a family event you’d rather not attend, then invite a good friend to join you. This can sometimes diffuse any difficulty that may arise.
4. Develop selective hearing
Learn the art of ignoring family members who deliberately try to provoke you. Simply act as if you didn’t hear the offensive remark and start a conversation about another subject. If you are unable to ignore an offensive comment, use the old trick of playing dumb. Sometimes the person who makes snide remarks doesn’t have the courage to deliver another offensive comment when this approach is taken.
5. Be honest
Your boyfriend more than likely senses the tension between you and his family though it may seem like he is not defending you. So if he asks about issues he notices, do not risk harming your relationship with him by lying and saying everything is fine. But at the same time do not trash his family. Express your issues tactfully, after all they are the people he loves.
