What your doctor shouldn’t be saying to you
THE importance of bedside manners is often stressed to doctors, but even while they try to be polite, some patients might still feel offended by what doctors say and do.
The offence might not be one that warrants the doctor losing his licence, but it may leave the patient reluctant to return for a follow-up.
When it comes to female patients, issues are far more sensitive and emotional.
Based off experiences, Kerry-Ann Johnson, Karen Broomfield, Anastasia Thomas, Shanna-Kay Russell, Monique Craig, Suzanna Fuller, Shawna Edwards and Allyson Richards shared with All Woman how doctors should not speak to female patients.
1. Don’t judge
All eight women said nothing is worse than a doctor being judgemental without asking appropriate questions that would reveal the truth. Fuller said most women are usually asked about their sexual history, which, although necessary, depending on how asked, can make women feel like she has done something wrong. Fuller said being impatient for an answer or making remarks like, ‘Are you going to answer today or tomorrow’ will leave a bad impression and often make a woman feel as if they did something wrong by going to the doctor.
2. No small talk
Russell, Craig and Thomas said when their gynaecologists have small talk with them it’s unnerving, depending on where they choose to speak with them. “Before being examined it’s OK,” Craig said. Thomas added: “Yes, but when I’m on that table with my legs in the stirrups, don’t ask me about my children or anything, just don’t. Just look for what you’re looking for. When I’m down and all is well then you can ask,” she said.
3. Keep the tone friendly
Johnson said her experiences with doctors make her consider using Google. “When I’m at the dentist, he always seems to raise his voice when telling me to floss, almost like berating me. When I go to the ophthalmologist it’s like I’m being scolded for not wearing my glasses and I had an experience with a dermatologist once, who was looking at a rash on my leg then looked at my hair and face and said, “So you don’t see you have dandruff and acne as well, that should be what you came in here for.”
4. Don’t stray too much from the problem
Broomfield said many times she goes to the doctor with one issue and leaves having spoken about the weather, her life and other events in her past. For her, she believes in getting her money’s worth, but also in dealing with the issue at hand, and not things surrounding it.
5. Don’t dwell on her weight
Yes, she may be at risk of diabetes, hypertension, cardiac disease and the whole works, but chances are she knows this and may be taking tiny steps to address it. “Don’t reiterate the fact that I’m overweight. I know. What you could do is ask how my exercise programme is going and help me find other healthy options to lose weight if my efforts are all in vain,” Craig said.
6. Telling her she is just anxious
Johnson and Russell said people like to label women as dramatic, anxious and often accuse them of overreacting to the simplest things. But Russell said what’s worse is when your doctor tells you to calm down or relax.
“Sometimes you really can’t explain your symptoms or you may not have a reason for why you missed breakfast or haven’t been tracking your period or visiting the dentist. Don’t say we’re negligent, and don’t say we need to relax and we’re overreacting. Find another way to say I’m OK or in perfect health,” she said.
7. She’s too young to have a particular problem
Richards and Edwards said judging a woman’s health problems by her age is an all -time low. “I went in for high blood pressure once and it felt like a lecture. The doctor kept dwelling on my age and was basically accusing me of letting my pressure go up,” Edwards said. According to Richards, she presented to the hospital as a teen with chest pain, which turned out to be a heart issue. She said initially she was told she is too young to be having that problem and if her father hadn’t been persistent they would have sent her home.
–KIMBERLEY HIBBERT
