Dealing with a jealous ex

As nasty as the break-up was, you still found the strength to move on. But wait, your ex is not quite ready to do the same! Not only are they not willing to turn their back on the relationship, but they are also jealous of the new man in your life. We all know that jealousy is a powerful emotion, and Craig McNally, psychotherapist, shares three ways you can deal with that jealous ex of yours.

1. Set boundaries

After a break-up, especially a nasty one, it is important to set boundaries. Boundaries are a great way of ensuring that even after a relationship has ended, you can still coexist amicably without having to tiptoe around each other. Setting boundaries allows you to not easily slip back into your old habits which would prevent you from being able to move forward with your life. So a simple request such as, ‘Do not call me unless it is an emergency’, is one which you can make of your ex lover.

2. Establish the channels of communication

It is important that your ex understands that the relationship has ended. If all channels of communication remain open, this can lead them to think nothing has changed, when the truth is that they have. Being selective in how you communicate (if at all) with them is important, especially if you now have a new person in your life. So tell them if you would prefer to be contacted (if at all) via Facebook, e-mail, by SMS, Whatsapp or by phone call. If your ex is able to contact you whenever and wherever, what does that say about your priorities?

3. Encourage them to move on

One sure way of dealing with your ex is encouraging them to move on. Yes, the relationship has ended, but there is still life. Offering them practical dating advice is a great way of ensuring that they don’t stay too long in a slump waiting for you to return to their arms. So encourage them to get back out there. Who knows, the love of their life could be the next person they end up meeting.