Are you emasculating your man?
Some women do it unknowingly; others do it intentionally — emasculating their men. It has become a pastime for some and a habit for others. Denecia Green, author of Lies, Sex & Betrayal, says there are also ways you may be emasculating your man without even knowing.
These include micromanaging his actions.
“No man likes to be bossed around. It’s already hard for him that he has to give up his freedom of doing whatever he wants in the name of love. So micromanaging his every move is like forcing him to relive that sacrifice,” she says.
“If you ask him to assist you with something, let him do it his way. Don’t hover about criticizing, instructing him on how to do it, or circumventing his efforts to do it yourself. You are undermining his entire manhood by doing this.”
Other ways you may be emasculating him include:
1. Belittling his job
A man’s profession is linked, or contributes to some extent to the individual he has become. Being condescending towards his profession is like laughing at the size of his member. This will hurt him and he will resent you. So if you don’t respect what he does for a living, it’s best to move on to someone whose profession you approve of.
2. Ridiculing his salary
A guy subconsciously feels like his role in life is to be a hunter and breadwinner in a relationship. So scoffing at the one thing he believes is his role would definitely make him feel less of a man. Not to mention the fact if it may be obvious if you may earn more than he does. No matter what situation is presented, never make his current earning potential the centre of any conversation.
3. Flirting with other men
Flirting with other men is harmless once it is done the right way. If you are out with your friends then it’s fine, but the moment you are in the presence of your man, give him your undivided attention. You are still allowed to socialise with other men but make sure you cling to your man’s arms and focus on every spoken word. If you ignore him and flirt with other men then you will definitely infuriate and emasculate him.
4. Calling him a coward
You may have been displeased with the way he may have handled a particular situation or maybe he didn’t confront someone or defend you the way you imagined, but never call him a coward. It’s best to reason with him and let him know what action you would have appreciated more while empathising with him at the same time.
5. Telling him you’ve seen bigger
Every man knows there is always another man who is more endowed than he is. But it’s not your duty to acknowledge or highlight that fact. Let him believe that he’s the biggest package you have had. Let him know and feel that you are content with his package. If you are not, then end the relationship rather than constantly reiterating the fact and shattering his ego.
6. Dominating a conversation he is engaged in
Sometimes it’s hard for a woman to remain silent as she listens to the garbage her man is spewing; or he may not be arguing his points very well; or you may not necessarily agree with his views. But never intervene or take over the conversation even if you know you will do a better job. This will make him believe that you think he can’t defend himself.
