Blindsided by love
So many times you will hear people say they will never fall in love again as they’ve had their hearts broken. And this is understandable as for some heartbreak can come as a devastating loss, akin to the grief experienced with the loss of a loved one.
What has been your experience with heartbreak? Were you blindsided by love? Below, two readers share.
Brandon, 33:
I fell in love once and it hit me so hard that years later, I’m still recovering. I met this young lady from the country while visiting family there. She and I started to communicate and before I knew it I was in a relationship with her. She was my queen; I catered to all her needs and was paying for her to go back to school. I even rented a two-bedroom house for her, where I was paying the rent and bills. I would drive to the country every month and I never went empty-handed. I would always take her things I thought she would like, along with money. She was never short of anything. I would invite her to Kingston but she always had and excuse as to why she couldn’t make it and I believed everything she was telling me until my cousin informed me that she had another man at the house. One day I went there to visit her after telling her I wasn’t going to visit. When I got there, there she was arm in arm with someone else. She was shocked to see me that she started to say all sorts of things as the man ran through the back door. I didn’t say a word to her, I just went outside and called my cousin and told him to come for the things in the house. When I left she was only left with the clothes she had on her back and on the clothes line. I will never allow myself to love that hard again. Here I was thinking I was being a good man but it was to the wrong woman. I’m not saying I wouldn’t be kind to another woman because I have been as it is in my nature, but I won’t be as giving as I was before.
Marva, 44:
Love made me so crazy once that I had to be on antidepressants. Never again will I go down that road, or ever forget. I was young and in love with this man who was my moon and my stars. He was my everything and more. My family didn’t like him but that never stopped me from loving him. At the time I was working and he wasn’t so I would help him out from time to time. He had three children and I didn’t have any at the time, so I had no problem with being a mother to them and a wife to him. I had told him when we just started dating that I was being filed for to migrate to England and he had no problem with it until my papers came through. He was upset, telling me that I would forget him and find a new man. When I left, the long distance started to take its toll on us. I kept hearing that he was cheating on me but he would deny it all the time. About two years later I came back to Jamaica and married him. To make a long story short, he and his children came to London to live with me. He didn’t want to work and it was hard on me. I was stressed out by him, my family and his kids. But things got worse when I got pregnant for him. This was when I found out I wasn’t the only one pregnant for him and the girl he got pregnant was the girl who lived in the flat across from me. He and I got into a heated argument about it and he moved out to go live with her. I couldn’t take it anymore and one day I snapped after telling his eldest daughter good morning at the bus stop and she ignored me. I went through a wave of emotions and stormed up to his new flat and banged on his door. I was six months pregnant when I got into a fight with him and her. I was just in rage.
They moved to another building but I would see them around the place. This man never once came to see our child together. One Saturday I was in Brixton Market and there they were: the happy loving couple with their happy family. I was embarrassed and ashamed and I was still upset and I confronted them. It was a heated war of words that left me depressed. I still loved him and I was in love with a man who used me for many years. I wanted him to hurt the way he was hurting me, but at the same time I didn’t want to see him in pain.
But you know karma is a hell of a thing. Years after we got our divorce, I heard that the woman he left me for left him, and when our child was 15 I went to Jamaica on vacation and there he was living like a sufferer. I have no idea what happened to him and don’t care to know. All I know is that never again will I allow any man to live in my heart like that.
