Male insecurity

IT has long been thought that only females are concerned with their body image and fuss about whether their thighs are firm enough or their stomach is flat enough, but a new study suggests that men are equally as conscious about their bodies as their female counterparts.

The study — Male Body Image: The Roles of Sexual Orientation and Body Mass Index Across Five National US Studies, led by Dr David Frederick of Chapman University and Jamal Essayli of University of Hawaii at Manoa — examined how men felt about their bodies and attractiveness.

The sample size across the five studies was 111,958 heterosexual men and 4,398 gay men. Of the total 116,356 men, Dr Frederick reported that between 20 and 40 per cent reported feeling dissatisfied with their overall physical appearance, weight, and/or muscle tone and size, while the majority of men also felt that they were judged based on their appearance and reported that they compared their appearance to that of others at social events.

The lead researcher also explained that, from the study, men classified as “normal” weight tended to feel positively about their appearance, whereas men who were obese tended to feel negatively. He said however, in an interesting twist, most men who were classified as “overweight” felt satisfied with their appearance.

On the flip side, he said men can feel pressure to appear strong and powerful, so having some additional mass does not necessarily lead to body dissatisfaction and said that the fact that most ‘overweight’ men felt satisfied might seem surprising, but the medical category for overweight does not correlate well to what people consider to be overweight socially.

Relationship counsellor Wayne Powell said his thoughts are that the average guy is concerned about his anatomical structure particularly if his partner complains bitterly that it’s not a turn-on for her.

“If he carries a large stomach that is unappealing to her he may sign up for the gym, but to feel insecure to the extent of going on a crash diet that some women will do, he may not be so driven. The guy with the oversized stomach, instead of feeling bad about his body, he would rather make fun and play it off by saying for instance, “You need plenty of guts to survive in these times.” Such a response could well be a defence mechanism to help a man deal with the concern.”

Powell said the fact is the average guy is not an exercise freak and will not boast a “six pack” and may not look like Asafa Powell when he removes his shirt, but he is not going to take diet pills and cover up when he goes to the beach.

But, he said, women on the other hand have been socialised from childhood to pay close attention to physical appearance and beauty and so would feel a sense of insecurity if and when nature takes its course and she no longer passes the “pencil test”, or she has excess fat around the stomach area.

“She would not undress or dress before her partner, and she would turn the lights down low or off during the intimate moments. Men, on the other hand, are less preoccupied with body image. But they would be wounded psychologically if they feel that a particular body part is undersized.”

All Woman questioned a few men about their body insecurities and they revealed that they silently have a few issues when they get naked with their partners.

Keith:

People, regardless of their gender, like to be viewed as sexy or appealing to the other gender. The insecurity from men is covert; however, men are usually insecure about their penis size and the size of their gut.

Joshua:

To an extent I worry about what she thinks about my physique. I’m no model, but I would say I’m fairly decent. She has a few times told me she loves muscles and asks me to get some. Mind you, she is ripped for a female. But though I haven’t made an attempt to get any muscles, I often wonder if she still appreciates me or if she would be more satisfied if I looked like her dream guy.

Markland:

I always wonder what she will think about my flat chest and stomach, void of abs. She has never voiced disapproval, but she has certainly examined me in bed. However, she has never said ‘I like this’ or ‘I don’t like this’.

Johnothan:

My wife is very critical and doesn’t mince words. She has told me I’m getting fat already. So whenever we’re having sex, I’m wondering what else she is noticing. I carry my weight in my stomach and face, but since she told me that one time she has never mentioned anything about my physical appearance again. Her reason is that she wouldn’t want me to do the same to her. Fair enough, but I still wonder if I’m not as physically attractive to her as I once was.

Nathan:

Yes, but not to the point where I would be shy and say, “turn off the light” or “don’t look at me”.

Antoine:

It depends on what’s going through my mind. If I’m very stressed and feeling down I may wonder and it ends up taking away from the experience, but if I’m in the mood and well excited, I just go for it, no second thoughts.