The moment I knew I wouldn’t marry him/her
MARRIAGE, but more importantly, deciding who to marry, is a big decision. And we’ve all perhaps come across one or two people, perhaps even dated them for months, even years, before we realised that regardless of how much we cared for them, they were not meant to be our ‘happily ever after’.
This week All Woman asked readers to share the moment they decided against tying the knot with someone they once thought would be their life partner.
Kelly:
He always chose everyone else over me. He tried to justify when other people did me wrong. He tried to make me into who he was — passive, docile, willing to sacrifice my happiness for others, soaking in their abuse and neglect. He was weaving a part of me that I did not like. I knew that I had the chance to regain all of me and I took it, because I couldn’t imagine what I would become if I chose him to become my other half.
Dianne:
We had been together for five years and at that point were contemplating marriage. But it so happened that a childhood friend came back into my life. My fiancé was not comfortable with it, and I found that I had to sneak around to meet up with someone who was like a brother to me. After going to a Christmas carnival with friends, including the childhood friend, I went home to a half-drunken fiancé who used a very strong right hand to shove me into the wall, then to the ground. At that moment, and I never second-guessed it, I knew that I would never tell this man ‘I do’.
Al:
She didn’t want children. It was one of the most important reasons why I had worked so hard, why I had sacrificed. And she didn’t even have a reason why she didn’t want to be a mother, other than children were needy and would take up too much of her time. The point is, she was selfish. I thought about the possibilities of her simply tossing me aside should something tragic happen and I couldn’t do all the things I used to. In that moment I knew our souls did not connect completely.
Dale:
I love my mother dearly. I love my family with all my heart and I’ll respect and love any woman that I commit myself to with all my heart. But I demand that they respect each other too. I knew that I could not marry my girlfriend of two and a half years when she disrespected my mother. She didn’t know that I heard her ranting, then she tried to convince me that my mother had thrown the first blow. I was not in the mood to marry the devil.
Kizzy:
Even though I tried to push her, she didn’t seem to be taking the bait. She is a very beautiful girl, but I was not seeking just beauty. I wanted a woman who would see my vision and one who I could help to achieve hers. But this girl didn’t have any ambition.
Ramone:
I couldn’t marry her, not because I didn’t love her anymore, but because she no longer loved me. She didn’t say it but her words weren’t necessary. The joy in her voice when we spoke was no more. I fought to get her back, but I was just hurting her. Yes, she was my fiancée and a lot of people wanted her to be my wife, but I wasn’t going to ruin her, because I loved her too much. So yes, I measured how much I loved her against the pain she must have been enduring to pretend she was still ‘madly’ in love with me.
