When Prince Charming is different than you dreamt

WE’VE all sat for hours in Wonderland conjuring up hundreds of images of our ideal mates — what our Prince Charming or fair maiden should look like. But many of us never actually find that person; in fact, some of us choose and settle down with someone who is a direct contrast to our childhood expectations.

This week All Woman readers tell how their soulmates differ from the man or woman that excited their childhood fantasies.

Sharon:

Hands like steel, fingernails stained with engine oil, tall, much too tall for my liking originally. I am five feet two inches, so you can imagine. He was a trying mechanic and for some strange reason I liked him — a butterfly fluttering kind of like, and of course, eventually I fell in love with him. He is my husband of 15 years. I never saw myself with him because, like many young women will tell you, I like a man in uniforms or suits. I didn’t want a man who was too tall or muscular because I didn’t want a giant. I liked them dark and he is super light. I wanted a college graduate, a man in a top job, but he has taught me that you don’t need either of these to be successful or to represent yourself well. He has shown me that childhood fantasies are what they ought to be — childhood fantasies.

Ian:

I was taught that skinny was perfect, that the ones that wore short skirts and wore the latest fashion trends were the ones that I should chase. But as fate would have it, when I met my plump 205 pounds of curves and edges, I was taken aback not just by her beauty, but her elegance. I was taught that straight hair was perfect, but nothing before had looked as good as her Bantu knots and now I love them even more. Her dark chocolate skin was never what I would go for because I was taught that light is better. I’ve never cared that people would say she is fat, as she has a personality I can’t resist. She wasn’t sitting at home with the kids or struggling to do the chores like I had dreamed. She didn’t want me to make her decisions, she didn’t want me to pay her bills, she didn’t want me to fix her car all the time. She is a teach-me-so-I-can-help-myself type of woman, and trust me, I love her.

Lorriece:

I am certainly guilty of fantasising about a man that looked as good as the romance novels said that they did. Gorgeous beard, a thunder-rolling voice, chiselled chest and arms, a well defined facial line and a strong lower body too. Having said that, it seems as though God got my order mixed up, but I am happy He did. I would have appreciated at least two of the six-packs I dreamed up, but that is alright. He is the best husband and father a woman could ask for. He does everything in the house; nothing is out of bounds. He is more romantic than any book told me a man could be. His feet are enviably smaller than mine and he is the smartest, wittiest person I know. I appreciate that he has shown me what experiencing a good laugh can do to a woman.

Ken:

Every man wants a beautiful wife and I was, in all honesty, no exception. Because of the denomination I grew up in I wanted a woman who would do everything in the house, fulfil my needs, the children’s needs, and do the chores that were ‘womanly’. But when I went to college I realised that they didn’t really make those anymore and even if they did, she wouldn’t be my first choice. The woman of my dreams, who unfortunately passed away three years ago, never knew the word submissive. She was a woman who demanded respect. She wasn’t really good with the cooking or the washing, but that’s what we have machines for and even if I had to do it myself, it wouldn’t have mattered. She was the best counsellor, she knew the right answers, she gave me all the support I needed and all the love in the world. She gave me two beautiful children and she steered our company business for years. She struggled with me when we had nothing, when I had nothing, and she is to be thanked for the man I am now.

Neeky:

I didn’t want a “pretty man” because they tend to be cocky, and somehow no matter how I tried, it never worked out. That’s until I met my “pretty guy”. As expected women flocked him, but he held them off and he was surprisingly simple and cared more about me than he did about the way he looks. I also wanted a man with wealth so that I wouldn’t have to work and of course based on the fairytales, I wouldn’t need to work. Now I value my independence though I appreciate that he spoils me. He is a little shorter than I had hoped, but I appreciate every inch of him. I didn’t want anyone in the same career as I am, but I got that and I love it. We’re like an A-Team at our job and it allows us to support and encourage each other. Let’s just say that of the many things that made my perfect fairytale man, the only two things that match that are his intelligence and complexion.