Subtle signs your partner is not the one
EVEN if an individual meets all the requirements on your list of ‘the one’, there can be other attributes that indicate they are not the one for you. And despite knowing this, some people believe these are ‘flaws’ they can work with, because their partners seem ideal otherwise. But ignoring subtle signs that your partner isn’t really the one can be detrimental in the long run, as your lifetime partner should inspire you and make you happy. You should not have to second-guess your relationship at any point in time.
Dr Sidney McGill, sex therapist, shares below various signs that your partner is not the one you want to spend the rest of your life with. Red flags should go up if he or she:
1. Is not trustworthy and tends to tell lies
Look out for the little fibs that may seem inconsequential, but which reveal an inability to come totally clean. So was he/she not honest about their heritage, their income or how much they have saved? Did they fib to make themselves seem more attractive in your eyes? If your partner is willing to lie about simple things, especially things that would not have really impacted your opinion of them, you should watch out for the bigger lies.
2. Brings out the worst in you, causing you to get really angry
If every disagreement brings out the virago in you – beware. Nobody should rile you up so much that you forget all decency and get so angry. But if your partner manages by their actions to always get on your bad side, they cannot be good for you.
3. Hides information about monthly income from you
As said above, financial transparency is very important, especially if you are planning for the long term with your partner. If you don’t know what they earn, what their deductions are, and what their sources of income are, then something is wrong. If your partner feels the need to inflate what they earn, or to hide debt, these are trust issues that need to be addressed.
4. Is very secretive and only communicates about general facts such as the weather or current events
Do you still don’t really know the person you’re with after many months or even years of being together? Are you still in the dark about much of their past, or you can’t be sure if the story they’ve sold you is solid? If your partner is very secretive, hides passwords, etc, and only wants to talk about general topics, then there are things that they don’t want you to know.
5. Does not disclose their personal affairs or discuss how they feel about the relationship
If you’re still in the dark about where you’re both headed and how you’ll get there after you’ve invested in the relationship, then your partner might not be the one for you. Relationship growth means that there should be succession planning. Once there’s stagnancy, that’s a red flag.
6. Shows limited or no interest in your life ambitions/goals
If he/she is wholly immersed in their own lives and shows little or no interest in yours, then beware. Part of being a couple is having someone to share your dreams, goals and aspirations, and if your other half shows no interest in you, that means they’re not the one.
7. Does not accept responsibility for their mistakes
So the mistake is obvious, you’ve pointed it out or they’ve been proven wrong, yet your partner refuses to take any responsibility for the fact that they erred. If they are too arrogant to accept that they’re wrong, this doesn’t bode well for them accepting responsibility for anything else, especially when the road gets rocky.
