Gentlemen, never say these things to a woman!
FOOT-in-mouth disease is a condition that befalls many men who frequently hurt women with their insensitive remarks. And after constant exposure to such heartless treatment, a woman’s confidence will plummet as she is overwhelmed by feelings of inadequacy. How could this not affect her performance in the relationship?
There are some clueless men who might not realise the damage caused by their comments, but most men deliberately use their words as weapons. Counsellor Violet Brown stresses the need to think before you speak, and suggests that men should ask themselves whether they would want someone to say the same things to their daughters.
Below are some questions and statements that Brown reminds men to avoid saying to a woman.
1. “I should have married my ex/someone else”
She doesn’t need to hear that you consider linking up with her as a mistake, nor does she want to be compared to someone else. If this is the way you feel, try backing out of the relationship without seeking to damage her with hurtful words.
2. “I wish I’d never met you”
Just like the above, making her feel like a second-class citizen can ruin her for other relationships.
3. “I don’t need to tell you where I’m going”
This suggests that she holds no importance in your life; otherwise she should know what you’re up to. If you don’t need to share your whereabouts with your woman, why are you in the relationship?
4. “I don’t care about you anymore”
If things are rocky, then bowing out gracefully is better than letting a woman know that things are so bad you have lost basic human feelings for her.
5. “How many men have you slept with?”
In fact, this is none of your business. The number of partners she had before meeting you has no bearing on your relationship. How would this information help you? If it’s a lot, would you judge her?
6. “Is that what you’re going to wear?”
When she is going out, she often puts a lot of thought into what she will be wearing. If she has made an effort to look good, don’t shoot down her attempts. Of course, if her outfit is unflattering or inappropriate, then by all means raise the issue, but try to be diplomatic.
7. “Have you gained weight?”
If she has gained even one pound, trust me, she knows. She doesn’t need you to point it out. Truth be told, she will probably be grappling with issues connected to the weight gain, and she certainly doesn’t want the love of her life to identify and pick at her flaws.
8. “Your friend looks nice”
This is the surest way to indicate that your eyes are straying. She doesn’t need to feel less confident in her relationship because you can’t see a good-looking woman without voicing your admiration.
9.“The baby is not mine”
If you were involved with her, then there’s the possibility that the baby is yours. And if she says it’s yours, she should know.
10. “Do you have to eat that?”
This will give her the impression that you think she’s fat and are dissatisfied with the way she looks. Everyone has a favourite food that they go overboard with, but this does not mean that they are generally greedy.
