Miscarriage survivor

IN 1998, October was declared Pregnancy Loss Awareness Month in the United States — a time dedicated for families to recognise those who have lost a child through early miscarriage or stillbirth. Many women suffer in silence and are afraid to face their families. I would like to let all these women know that they are not alone.

My journey towards acknowledging and appreciating this day started after my first pregnancy loss, followed by a second and a third. There have been many emotions, and I’ve heard the stories of many other women who have endured fewer, the same or many more miscarriages. Some have since been successful with starting their families, but others have not.

Over the years of enduring these losses, I have come to recognise that I am the one in four. The statistics say that one in every four women have or will experience a pregnancy loss, and I am strong enough to declare that I am that one in four, and also a survivor.

Miscarriage Survivor — my group — wishes to extend love, care, recognition and prayers of hope for the women and families who have experienced or endured pregnancy loss. The emotions which come with pregnancy loss have long been silent in words but loud in occurrence. Between 10-25 per cent of pregnancies end in a miscarriage, and one in every four women suffer a miscarriage. We would like to recognise all of these women as miscarriage survivors.

A survivor, according to the Cambridge Dictionary, is “a person who is able to continue living their life successfully despite experiencing difficulties”. October is the month to celebrate women as miscarriage survivors and embrace each and every one with love and the presence of hope.

Enduring a miscarriage makes a woman very unhappy. She questions her entire well-being and physical capability as a mother. It affects a woman’s self-esteem and self-identity, and even though a few women seem to get over this quickly, others take many years. Some experience profound sadness all through their lives.

It always helps to talk to your husband or partner, someone in your family, a good friend, or someone who has had a miscarriage. If you are any of the people listed here, there is no right thing to say; however, it’s always best to understand and acknowledge the mother’s feelings and be careful what you say.

It’s very important for a miscarriage survivor to be surrounded with love and family in order to endure the many emotions which may come until one has passed that period of extreme grief. As a family member or close friend, if you notice any sign of personal harm, or if the emotions are beyond your control, please refer her to a professional psychologist.

Sashan Morris Anderson, founder of Miscarriage Survivor, can be contacted for support at miscarriagesurvivorgroup@gmail.com.