Couples share the activities that bring them closer together
WITH the demands of your career, the kids, and pursuing other goals, one moment you may be at the perfect place in your relationship, and the next moment you find yourself in a rut. The reason? Lack of intimacy. And while having a good sex life contributes to keeping the glue in your relationship, connecting with your partner requires more than just sex.
Below, some All Woman readers share how they are able to improve the level of intimacy in their relationships by combining sexual and non-sexual activities.
Monique, 25, store supervisor:
It is a given in my relationship that we never go to bed angry; we must cuddle and remind each other why we fell in love, and even if the words are not involved, we share a kiss. We also do at least one thing for each other that we are sure would be well received.
Tremayne, 29, barber:
We spend a lot of time together – do basic things like staying in and watching a movie, or going out to the beach or out to the country. We just arrange for my mom to keep the kids.
Angie, 34, teacher:
We are big on games and sports, so we compete in the video games and snuggle up to watch and discuss football. We also cook and do other things together.
Shanon, 30, store clerk:
My boyfriend is a gym fanatic and I have been trying to get fit to keep close to him. We get to mess around and enjoy each other’s company. We also like to do things like eating out or sometimes we go to the movies and we also do one important thing – we listen to each other. Sometimes in relationships, you know how we want to prove we have the winning point? Well, doing the opposite by paying attention and listening has been important to tighten the connection between us.
Richard, 40, landscaper:
You can build a connection with your woman by supporting her. Help her to do the things in the house when she’s going to school. Another thing I always say is a woman is a queen, likewise a man is a king, so every year when I get my ‘partner draw’ I buy my wife something she likes – definitely not a household appliance, but something exclusively for her. We are also open in our relationship. Yes, some things hurt, but if things come up we just deal with it because, like they say, it’s the little things that will hurt you, so we try to avoid that.
Trizzy, 38, legal assistant:
Number one, lighten up in the relationship. Learn to play games and to appreciate good humour. Number two, do soul gazing – this isn’t for everybody because it will be uncomfortable for some people, but my partner is a lawyer so he would have had a world of uncomfortable gazes, and by now he knows how to appreciate some good soul-electrifying gazing. Number three, even if you have kids, remember that your relationship is also important. Send them to grandma or some other family member you can trust, and spend some time together. You would be surprised how great that is. Number four, what never gets old is love notes, sexting or even an “I love you” or “I appreciate you” text. This can significantly improve intimacy, at least from my experience.
