7 habits that are ruining your relationship

MANY of your seemingly innocent habits could be ruining your relationship, but you don’t realise until it’s too late.

“Very often we underestimate the damage they can do, and end up ruining relationships. Sometimes people are not even aware of how harmful their actions are, and their partners refuse to tell them to break the habit,” counsellor Violet Brown told All Woman.

Below, Brown outlines some poor habits that you need to stop if you are interested in the survival of your relationship.

1. Alcoholism

Persons who abuse alcohol come home drunk and often abuse their spouses and children. Sometimes the abuse gets so bad that the victims have to seek medical attention. But not every problem with alcohol is blamed on excessive use. Something as simple as your habit of taking the occasional drink to relax you after work can ruin the mood for your partner, who can’t stand the smell/taste of alcohol, or associates it with some previous abuse on your part.

2. Gambling

This affects the financial status of the family. Families lose possessions such their homes and vehicles to excessive gambling, and it also leads to arguments that can get physical. And even in mild cases, a partner who spends time reading gambling sheets or in gambling halls in search of the next win, cannot adequately fulfil their other roles towards their families.

3. Poor communication skills

Today’s technology has made life simpler — rather than call, you can WhatsApp your partner, and an emoji can reflect your thoughts or reaction to something your partner said. But nothing makes up for face-to-face communication, and saying what you actual mean without using Internet talk. That way you can see your partner’s body language and how he/she reacts to your statements.

4. You don’t value your partner’s opinion

Continuous disregard for your partner’s opinion is insulting and is a sure deal-breaker. Listen, even if you don’t agree, or even if you hold vastly opposing views.

5. Selfishness

If you always put yourself first and your partner last, prepare in future to spend your time alone. No one will stick with a selfish partner for long.

6. Unforgiveness

Holding a grudge against your partner is a breeding ground for arguments. Once you have worked through a problem, you should forgive and forget as needs be. Don’t bring up an issue in a new argument that was already hashed out before. This indicates that you haven’t forgiven your partner, and that you’re still holding a grudge.

7. Phone obsession

Do you take your phone everywhere, including to the bedroom? This could leave your partner seething without you even realising. If your nightly routine involves too much of keeping up with activities on social media, you could be taking time away from interacting with your partner. Make the bedroom a no-phone zone for your sanity and your partner’s.

— Falon Folkes