‘I stayed with the woman who broke up my marriage’
WHAT do you get when you make someone else’s partner your own? That was the subject of a 2014 study on mate poaching (stealing someone’s partner), published in the Journal of Research in Personality , and which suggested that relationships formed this way are doomed, as the partner being poached reported less commitment to the relationship, committed more acts of infidelity, and was always looking for more alternatives.
But in fact there are partners who have been poached, who report, contrary to the study, that they found happiness with the people who stole them away — in fact, being poached was the best thing that ever happened to them.
Why would a man stay with the woman who broke up his marriage? The men below reveal why the other woman turned out to be a better option.
Bryan K, 45:
My wife was a very selfish lady. The other woman was kind and loving and very family-oriented. So I left my wife and now I am engaged to the lady I left her for.
Wayne H, 40:
Honestly, we clicked better than my wife and I did. I broke my marriage vows, but my wife had no interest in going to a marriage counsellor when things started to go wrong.
F Lee, 60:
She’s not necessarily a better quality woman than my wife, but she was willing to juggle my time when I was cheating with her, and never once did she complain when I had to go home. My wife, on the other hand, made a big fuss when she found out. She claimed to be a nice Christian woman, but she went to my sweetheart’s workplace and acted like ghetto trash. So I moved out to be with my lover, a more docile woman, who I’m sure will understand my desire to freely give my affection to other women and won’t complain.
Robert P, 32:
The lady who broke up my marriage gave me what I wanted most — a child. My wife didn’t want children, and we argued about it all the time. I didn’t plan on getting the lady pregnant, but it happened, and I don’t regret it.
Eddie G, 37:
In no way was she better than my wife, but she got pregnant. My parents were separated and I had a rough childhood. I made a promise not to let that happen to my child. So I miss my wife, but I am not leaving my child to grow up without me in the home.
Lloyd H, 30:
My other woman is much better at keeping the house. I grew up in a clean home. My mother was always cleaning. My wife wasn’t the tidiest person around. This drew me closer to the other woman.
Michael W, 33:
My mother broke up my father and his first wife. Daddy told me that he stayed with my mother because she was better with children. She took better care of my half-brother than his first wife did.
