Why women send themselves Valentine’s Day gifts

ONE Valentine’s Day fun fact is that around 15 per cent of women worldwide send themselves flowers every February 14.

The reasons vary and in 2012 when online dating website date.com surveyed thousands of single women to find out whether or not they’ve ever invented a Valentine, 75 per cent of them said yes.

The poll also revealed that 80 per cent had sent flowers to themselves on Valentine’s Day, 13 per cent had bought boxes of chocolates and signed them from a made-up beau or secret admirer, while five per cent had sent themselves a card and stuffed toy.

The women surveyed also gave reasons behind their dreams come true, with 65 per cent attributing their actions to feeling special, 15 per cent doing it for the men in their office to notice them, five per cent creating a Valentine not to feel lonely and depressed, while 15 per cent did it for all of the reasons listed.

Locally, it is no different, and each year, women who profess singleness 364 days of the year, somehow end up with a Valentine sending gifts to the office or a secret admirer sending flowers, making everyone wonder what new wind blew.

Is sending flowers to one’s self an issue? Some men weighed in.

Miguel Fevrier said someone sending themselves flowers sounds outrageous and outlandish, pointing out that Valentine’s Day is a day primarily for lovers in a romantic and sexual way.

“Unless you’re asexual or want to have a relationship with yourself, why get yourself a gift for Valentine’s Day?” he asked.

Another man, Shawn Henry, said it is simply a waste of time and money to look good in people’s eyes.

Women also had their opinions on the practice and like men thought it was absurd, however, Natalie Taylor, women empowerment speaker, said there’s nothing wrong with gifting yourself things, and contended that a single woman need not wait until Valentine’s Day to do this.

“Valentine’s Day is a day that marketing platforms use to get more sales for their products, whether diamonds, chocolates or roses. Even though it is a marketing ploy, every single woman in a relationship, even kids, give gifts to others just to say they appreciate them. Everyone wants to feel important and with that said I don’t see why a woman, any time of the year, including Valentine’s Day if she is single, is not able to send herself some flowers. A woman can go out, accomplish something and treat herself to a nice lunch, dinner, outfit, pair of shoes, movies or get her nails done, so, too, she can treat herself by buying herself some flowers or by buying herself a spa day. I just don’t agree that she should be waiting for Valentine’s Day to do this.”

She further supported her argument and said if you want to be loved and appreciated, you have to teach people how you want to be loved.

“There are five different love languages – some people receive love in the time you spend with them, some receive by getting gifts, some through affirmative words, acts of service and physical touch. So however a woman wants to receive love, she should be able to do it for herself and not wait for someone to do it for her,” she shared.

Additionally, Taylor said in doing for herself, a woman will attract those who are able to do the same for her.

“A woman who has standards for herself often attracts people who honour those standards and because those standards are firm, people who cannot honour them often flee, often leave, often move on and she doesn’t find herself wasting time in relationships or in conversations with people who just can’t meet her standards. So if her standard is receiving love through gifts or positive actions, then yes, do it for herself,” she said.

Moreover, Taylor said in general, women need not be ashamed or let society or anyone define what is an appropriate way to love themselves.

“It’s important not to be overzealous with yourself or be rude and obnoxious with loving yourself and offend other people. But there’s no limit to self love. You don’t want to run up your credit card trying to buy yourself some love, but show yourself some love by sending yourself flowers, chocolates, jewellery if you can afford it. However, don’t wait on Valentine’s Day,” she said.