Mate poaching Jamaican-style

IF your friends are as loyal as you think, then you shouldn’t ever have to worry about losing your man to them. But unfortunately, as the saying goes, your replacement is sometimes closer than you think, because sometimes for some people their happiness is more important than yours, or their friendship with you.

Below, a few readers share stories of the ultimate act of betrayal — stealing or attempting to steal their friend’s mate.

Jackie, 38, business owner:

It wasn’t intentional; it was one night that we all went out and it so happened that my friend got drunk and became unresponsive. Her man and I were there fooling around, half-drunk ourselves, and one thing led to another and we had sex outside. He couldn’t get enough of me and professed his love and admiration for me over the weeks following. We ended up carrying on an affair, until I became pregnant. It cost me my friendship with someone whom I loved dearly, but I wanted my child and I had fallen in love with the guy. To make things easier for my friend, we moved to Kingston so she wouldn’t have to see us or the baby. We have since had two more children and we are happy even though many days I wish I had my friend in mine and my children’s lives.

Angella, 40, teacher:

This is an old story, but still worth telling. In college there was this friend I had, Kelly, who was desperate for me to go out and have fun like she did. Anyway, after several weeks of hanging out, she introduced me to her childhood friend. We started dating and very soon things became pretty serious. Anyway, I realised that after about seven months of being with the guy that she suddenly wanted to be everywhere with us, started making weird comments like, “oonu too loving” or “oonu disgusting eeh, oonu cyaan come out of each other mouth”, all while looking at us with scorn. Then all of a sudden they would be spending “besties time” together, and as my boyfriend drifted away, one night I decided I was going to cook for him and take it to his place. I reached his flat, opened the door, and heard Percy Sledge playing, instead of the usual dancehall. I found them both in the bedroom, and instead of causing a scene, I just threw the hot stew on both of them and left. I talked to them several months later, but they both knew they could never get close to me again. I believe they dated for a few months before calling it quits.

Tajae, 31, bank teller:

My friend and I had been friends with the same guy for a long time. They eventually got into a serious relationship and this guy would worship the ground she walked on. But she was quite the opposite — snobbish, ungrateful, didn’t do anything for him, and was just uncaring. After a while he started confiding in me and we started to flirt. One thing led to another and we had sex. Honestly, it was the best I had ever had, and he said the same. But even though I cared for him deeply, I told him I wouldn’t be that girl, so I just took care of him and helped him to find someone that he deserved. My friend did not know when or how the red carpet got swept from beneath her feet, and I still remain good friends with both of them.

Jessica, 43, business owner:

My friend of about 16 years went through the worst divorce and I was deeply wounded for her. My husband and I wanted to help and since her husband had custody of their two sons, she was lonely. I told her she could come by and since my husband (who had his workshop at home) didn’t have a problem, I saw no harm in it. She was there frequently, doing her writing, crocheting and watching her movies whenever she didn’t have work, as she freelanced. I didn’t get tired of her, but I started noticing that suddenly she was becoming increasingly nervous when all three of us were home, and she was coming up with excuses for us not to have our regular girls’ time together. But as the Bible says, when your ways please God, He will make your enemies your footstool, and I remember the night as my husband tossed and turned in bed trying to find a way to come clean, and I just said “tell me”, and he said the words, “I have betrayed you.” He told me what happened, including that my friend tried to get him to go on a vacation with her, and even told him that she didn’t think I deserved him. He said he was ready to repent and to do all that it took to make our marriage work. As for her, I had to rid the house of the serpent. I told her I would be there for her always but she was no longer welcome in my home. I even found her a good therapist who would provide support to her while she continued to work on herself.