Key differences between happy and unhappy couples
ALL relationships have challenges — happy, sad and even regrettable experiences. However, Relationship Counsellor Wayne Powell said that the health of a relationship and ultimately what will determine if you will be happy or unhappy is determined by what you invest and your management of all spheres of the relationship.
But what clues can be used to measure whether your relationship is happy, full of life and poised for growth, or tension-filled and headed down the road of a dark tale with an unhappy ending? Below Powell shares key differences between happy and unhappy couples.
Happy couples establish and maintain open communication links
The bedrock of any solid, healthy, happy relationship is being open and having an open door policy with your partner. Happy couples talk about everything; they look to their partners for advice and are willing to listen and to compromise. On the other hand, unhappy couples tend to want to deal with things on their own; as they have abandoned the essential element of teamwork by failing to communicate with their partners. They instead complain to others about challenges with their partners and they live like they are roommates as opposed to a couple because they lack the intimacy of communication.
Happy couples have mutually agreed on conflict management strategies
Understanding and deciding on an effective conflict management strategy is very important in a relationship. This will ensure that where situations that are high conflict arise and the couple cannot easily reach a compromise, they can consult their established system. In doing this they will be better able to iron out whatever misunderstanding they may be having without having felt like they were blindsided or lost to their partner. When this is absent in a relationship, it leaves room for many things to happen; for one, the couple will end up making individual decisions which can ruin their relationship.
Happy couples maintain trust and are honest with each other
While happy couples trust each other unreservedly and share everything with each other, unhappy couples sneak behind their partners’ backs, are often found in compromising positions and situations, and fail to share with their partners.
Happy couples maintain mutual respect and avoid the use of demeaning terms to each other
Happy couples are respectful even in the face of conflict, while unhappy couples are disrespectful at the slightest sign of conflict. One or both partners in unhappy relationships tend to degrade the other with unkind words.
Happy couples share a healthy sense of humour and make time to have fun
In happy relationships a sense of humour is important. Connecting with your partner on a level that you know will give him/her the giggles is also a sign of a healthy relationship. On the other hand, unhappy couples are more rigid and quick to take offence when partners are only making jokes.
Happy couples commit to having each other’s back
Being there for your partner at all times is very important. When you fail to support your partner, you leave room open for someone else, and your partner may have doubts about how genuine your love is for them.
Happy couples will go the extra mile
Making sacrifices, celebrating your partner and special events, are important features of happy couples. So special events like birthdays and anniversaries are important, and couples buy gifts or plan outings with their partners to make them feel special. In unhappy relationships, sometimes simply telling your partner happy anniversary or happy birthday may be all that you give, if even that.
