If he questions your past, should you go further?
Some women are afraid to divulge details of their past for fear of it being used against them. And so, even some experts have warned that if the skeletons in one’s closet have no means of coming out, then some things are better left unsaid. And this has proven to be useful advice for many who have been burnt after sharing their past, and then having men use it to judge their ability to be effective partners and even parents.
But should woman’s past be used to judge her present? If she was once promiscuous, for example, should that be a barrier for her achieving happiness? And should a woman go further in a relationship if she suspects that her past is being used against her?
Marie:
To be very honest, if a man questions me about my exes, it is clear he wants information as a means to get to know me, but if he goes too deep, I will definitely think twice about going further because some men only want to hear that you have had several sexual relationships to start cheating and tell you to accept it. So I am very selective with what I share with my partner.
SL:
If a man is going to use my past against me and use it to judge me to the point where he will not wed me, for example, I am better off being single. I once had a guy ask me how many men I’d been with and what I did with them, and believe me, it was the last date.
TC:
There is a difference between getting to know someone and being disrespectful and some men take the past thing a bit too seriously and that can definitely turn a woman off. My ex asked me about oral sex and if I ever did it and I told him about an experience and from that, the relationship was hell. Every argument we had, he would throw it in my face. I told him that it was best we part because I wasn’t going to sit and take disrespect for the sake of a relationship.
Keisha:
If he questions your past, clearly he doesn’t trust you so I wouldn’t think to go further in that relationship because what you are signing up for is disaster.
HG:
I went on a date several weeks ago and it was like I was on an interview. I had to cut it at the root.
