Valentine’s Day gone wrong

VALENTINE’S Day is that time of year officially dedicated to celebrating the love of your life as well as your love interests. Unfortunately, especially with all the pressure executing a romantic day, everything does not always go as planned. All Woman asked readers to share their funniest, worst or most embarrassing Valentine’s Day experiences below.

Samantha, dental assistant, 34:

We were dating for a few weeks and he decided that instead of fresh roses he’d get me an edible arrangement. Most of the stuff was cheesecake flavoured. He had heard me say that I liked cheesecake, but what he didn’t know was that I stayed away from it because I was lactose intolerant. Anyway, I had planned to have them when I was alone, but he got creative and used the cupcakes and what I later realised were milk-based pastries while we made love. Let’s just say that it didn’t take long before things got pretty smelly. So it was very embarrassing. But thank God for some bomb loving because today he is my husband.

Dillon, mechanic, 33:

My long-time girlfriend and my sweetheart found out about each other, and both planned to make me suffer. They found out about each other and realised that I was going to try to score two times in one night. They tied me up and watched me suffer, and truth be told I just had to laugh it off the next day because I was in the wrong.

Ethan, electrician, 42:

In short, I ended up in the emergency room. I was away on a programme and you know how things go when you are on these programmes — I had this girl for a season. And you know how these girls like to try all sorts of things. Well, she scattered rose petals and lit candles, and before you know it she was doing some ninja moves, then I felt something break. When we reached the hospital I had a fracture.

Camille, guidance counsellor, 36:

When I was about 28 my boyfriend at the time bought me lingerie. I admit I had put on a couple pounds, but I don’t know what made him get that size. It was small, but I didn’t want to spoil the fun. It didn’t go too well — not only was it squeezing me and uncomfortable, but I got chafed in my sensitive areas. It was bad.

Jamesy, engineer, 26:

Year before last a brethren of mine had just finished chef school and I told him I wanted to do something nice for my girl — like a candlelight dinner and thing. I forgot to tell him about the things my girl was allergic to. Things were going well until she started to say she was feeling funny and she started to talk funny and her lips started swelling. It ruined the night and all the plans, especially the dessert.

Toniann, sales agent, 23:

My boyfriend, in his quest to be romantic, told me he reserved a room in a special place on the north coast. Even though an evening alone at home with wine and a nice dinner would have been fine, I took the following day off work. We got to the hotel — it seemed more like a small villa; it looked taken care of on the outside, so I said OK. But when we got inside I was in shock. The place was shabby and was not at all what was advertised. He said we should just stay overnight and in the middle of the night when he woke and was trying to lift my mood, I felt something on my face. I thought it was just hair, but it kept coming back. When I turned on the light it was a teenager roach. If it was one it wouldn’t be too bad, but where our food was, a tonne of them ran when I turned the lights on. I screamed so hard, I couldn’t even fully put on my clothes. I went straight to the car and we slept there until morning then headed home. I am still freaked out.