Marriage issues you shouldn’t ignore
A marriage just doesn’t fail overnight. The reality is that it takes months and sometimes years of ignoring undesirable habits and behaviours. These eventually escalate into much bigger problems that eventually wreak havoc on your marriage, which sometimes result in its termination. Don’t know what to look out for? Relationship Counsellor Wayne Powell shares some behaviours that you should never ignore:
When conversations decrease, arguments increase
Communication is the most important part of every relationship and when this breaks down it can be catastrophic. If you’re arguing instead of talking things through, then you need to stop and find a way to work through your disagreements.
When there is secrecy around finances
Money is a common reason for marital problems. This can also be problematic when one person in particular likes to spend excessively and is touchy about money issues. The same is true for when you have debt that you fail to tell your partner about. Debt can hurt both you and your partner, so it is important that your spouse knows about this.
When major decisions are made without your knowledge and/or input
When you make the decision to get married you also agree to act as a single unit which means that especially if the decision affects you and your spouse, then it is your duty to discuss it with your partner so that even if you don’t agree altogether, you can arrive at a compromise. Refusing to acknowledge this and making decisions on your own, especially when it affects your spouse, sends a clear message that you don’t have respect for them and you don’t value their opinion. This has the potential to wreak havoc on your relationship.
When your partner decides to go out without your knowledge
If one partner decides to leave the marital home, whether to spend time away for business or leisure, making such a decision without the other partner’s knowledge is not just a slap in the face, it is a clear sign of disrespect and can destroy a marriage.
When the partner no longer shows interest in you
Sex is important to your relationship; it’s certainly one of the ways that couples bond. The absence of this can make your partner question their sex appeal, and even worse, this can really hit their self-esteem because not only will they feel undesirable, but your spouse will likely become obsessed with thinking that you are getting this somewhere else. This can be quite painful and is among the most common reasons marriages disintegrate.
When one or both partners decide to stop wearing wedding rings
Unless there is some issue, for example, you have gained weight and the ring is squeezing you, deciding not to wear your ring is telling your partner and others that you don’t want the relationship anymore. This single action is very powerful because the ring is a sign of your commitment to the union and sends a message that you are taken. Choosing not to wear it may feel like an act of betrayal to your partner. Your spouse may believe that you have given up on the marriage and that you are telling everyone that you not only have marital problems, but that you are available to mingle.
When one or both partners take each other for granted
You should aim to show gratitude to and for your partner every day and that can be as simple as saying ‘thank you’, ‘you are welcome’, and ‘I love you’. You may feel that by virtue of the fact that they are your spouse, then they MUST do certain things for you, but if you are guided by this way of thinking then you may realise that your partner is slipping away.
When one or both partners disrespect each other
Emotional abuse is just as painful, and sometimes even more dangerous than physical abuse, because while the scars may heal, emotional pain can harm you for years. If you love your partner, you do not chastise, belittle, gaslight or manipulate your partner. Respect is crucial to every relationship. In the absence of respect, your relationship becomes toxic. Lack of respect and emotional abuse breeds hatred. If you want your marriage to survive you want to support, speak positively to, and encourage your partner no matter how difficult the situation is.
