You, me and her
MEN really have a nerve sometimes, so it’s no surprise that some of them will actually propose that their wives and their mistresses become friends. While some women will not entertain this preposterous notion, surprisingly, there are women who don’t mind having a symbiotic relationship with their third wheelers.
Some women share below how they reacted to the idea of not only having another passenger aboard their relationships, but being encouraged to welcome them with open arms.
Michelle, 30, cashier:
I left him same time. He must have been crazy! I was suspicious of the girl for a while, but he said they were just friends. One night I searched his phone and I finally confirmed that they were sleeping together, and in all of that he asked why I had such a big problem with the girl if she didn’t have a problem with me and respected me. There’s plenty more fish in the sea.
Shandra, 25, hairstylist:
To be honest, I knew about her from we started talking, and he wasn’t really hiding me so she soon knew about me. From my understanding they had kids together and lived together but weren’t really in love anymore, and they never made love. One time he left his phone at my place and she called it and I answered. She said, “Oh it’s by you. He has been looking for it since morning.” And since then we have been OK with each other. We’re not close friends or anything, but I’m OK with her and she seems OK with me.
Twan, 43, housewife:
Men will have two or three women and all of them think they are wives. I found out that my man had another long-term relationship with someone else and I was angry and hurt but I really loved him so I stayed. It was obvious that she knew about me from before and was OK with it, so I thought it was weird, but OK. But when I found out that he was flirting with someone new, I got out of that mess. He wanted a harem.
Keisha, 23, medical assistant:
A man asked me once if I felt I was up to meeting “the other woman” and being friends with her. I said no, and gave him all the reasons for me saying no. Then I walked away and never looked back.
FROM A MAN’S PERSPECTIVE
‘It’s easier when they are friends’
WHAT kind of man would encourage his woman to welcome his sweetheart with open arms? According to the men below, it’s all par for the course in these modern times.
SHAUN, 31, ENTREPRENEUR:
It’s easier when they are friends, or at least don’t have bad vibes, because it’s less conflict on you as a man. Women are stress still, so two women are twice the stress, but you can get rid of some of the stress if they’re OK with it. You don’t have to worry about what will happen when anybody finds out.
CHRIS, 27, SALES REP:
It’s more fun; they can agree to do things together, if you know what I mean. But it’s not any two women that can work together. They have to understand the situation and agree to it. And you have to make sure that none of them feel left out. Everything has to be equal. Having them as friends helps you to schedule your time.
TEVIN, 32, MECHANIC:
You mad? Any woman who agrees to something like that is only in it for the money, or she has another man. No woman in her right mind will agree to something like that. I tried to do the cheating thing one time and my woman found out and almost left me. I don’t know why these men are getting so bold with it now.
