Pros and Cons of dating single moms

FOR many of the reasons some men shy away from dating single moms, others find them appealing.

While one man may not readily take on a woman who has a child or children from a previous relationship, another man may appreciate the level of independence and authority with which a single mom operates.

All Woman asked men who are dating or have dated single mothers to share the pros and cons of getting involved with a woman who has a child or children from a past relationship.

Pros

Mike, 29, truck driver:

I used to say I don’t want any woman with kids, because that seemed like too much expense on my pocket, but I met a nice girl in Liguanea and she was the most intelligent and mature girl I ever met in a while. After talking for awhile, she told me that she has a child. That was when I realised they are the best women, because they know how to take care of themselves and others better than anybody else.

Sean, 34, electrical engineer:

Some single moms irie, man. Most of them have been through a lot, so they’re past the foolishness and will be upfront with you. They don’t have time to waste, and neither do I.

David, 29, junior doctor:

My girlfriend was a single mom when I met her, and she is the first girl I ever met who knows exactly what she wants to eat, what she wants in bed, and what she wants in a man — no games and no foolishness. And she was growing her son so well on her own, I couldn’t help but love her for it. She is so caring — always cooking for me and grooming me, so much so that my friends say I’m her big son, but I don’t care.

Tev, 41, salesman:

Right now, if a girl reach a certain age and doesn’t have a child or two, I don’t want her, unless is something wrong why she can’t have any of her own. The moms might come with a little wear and tear, and an extra mouth to feed, but it work out better with them in the long run because them not as nagging as the ones weh nuh have nothing fi hurt them.

Chris, 25, student:

From my experience, most single moms are rational and good decision-makers. They know how to stretch money and how to get ready to go out in no time flat. They act tough and unapproachable, but once you get to know them they want the same things other women want.

John, 35, floor manager:

If I can be honest, single moms make great friends and side chicks. I dated one who told me from day one that she didn’t want anything serious, because she didn’t want to get hurt again and she didn’t want a man in her daughter’s life like that. She was very comforting to talk to and chill with when she had the time, but she was never up in my business about my relationship. Eventually we started sleeping together, no strings attached.

Cons

Perry, 31, mechanic:

Them too controlling man! They want to treat big man like their children, and I can’t deal with that. And sometimes the babyfather is not far out of the picture, so you can’t even trust them too tough.

Mike, 29, truck driver:

She had a soft spot for her child’s father, and I couldn’t deal with it. They were still ‘friends’ so he would message her all the time, asking about the kid first and then moving [the conversation] to her. If he said, ‘Jump’, she asked, ‘How high?’ I get that she wanted the child to grow up knowing both parents, but I think if a man decides to leave his babymother and move on, he should let her move on in peace too.

Matt, 46, taxi operator:

Some of them alright enuh, but some of them love use the pickney to ‘con’ you out. I took up a woman with two children and gave her one more, and because she tell me that the father wasn’t supporting them, I always give her money to buy three of anything she buying. Three back-to-school money, three Christmas money, and three lunch money. I treat them like my own until one day my friend saw her in Western Union collecting money. The man was sending her money from foreign for the children for years.

Paul, 37, trainer:

It might sound selfish, but some single moms don’t have enough time for a man — especially when they have small kids. They keep blowing you off when you want to go out, they fall asleep as their heads hit the pillow, and they are bad communicators. They’re heroes for all the things they juggle, but it can feel like you’re asking them to cheat on their children by being with you.

Keron, 26, marketing officer:

My cousin lost his life by messing with a woman who had two kids for another man. He went to her house one time, and after that he got a threat that if he went back he would get chopped up. The girl said it was just her bitter babyfather, and he shouldn’t pay attention to it. So he went back, parking his taxi at the gate and sleeping over. The man really came in the night with his machete and chopped him. I’m not saying it was the woman’s fault, but most single moms come with babyfathers who can’t get over them, and some of them are mad men.

Marlon, 41, math teacher:

Sometimes the moms are okay but the children don’t like you. Especially if the mother dates a lot, or if they miss their dad, it’s like the children start hating you before they meet you. And if you can’t win over the child or children in a certain time, you know the relationship is heading nowhere. The women are also very impatient with you as a man and too uptight sometimes. If you run a little joke, the first thing they say is, “You think I have time to waste?”

— Candiece Knight