‘Hey you wid the good body…’
AS Jamaica celebrates its Independence, we also celebrate the strides women have been making towards our own independence. Not only do we go out and chase our money, but some of us are also going out and chasing our men. That’s right — no longer do we dress up and wait for Mr Right to notice us; we step right up to him and let him know what’s up. Not only are women actively pursuing men they find attractive, but some of us go as far as to ask for their hand in marriage. We know what (and who) we want.
But how do the men feel when they are the hunted instead of the hunter? We asked some men to share their experiences on being pursued by women.
Michael, 35, warehouse manager:
Personally, I find it a bit creepy. There is nothing wrong with a woman letting a man know that she is available, but when you talk about a woman saying, “Pssst, handsome”, or walking up to me at the bar asking what a fine man like me is doing out alone, that doesn’t sit right with me. If I enter a relationship that started out like that, there will be some form of power struggle.
Alvin, 31, software engineer:
I find it sexy. It’s good when a woman knows what she wants and goes after it. You know for sure that’s not the kind of girl who you’ll ask 100 times what she wants to eat and she still doesn’t know.
Shaquille, 27, junior doctor:
It’s cute up to a certain point. I met this girl once at a party. I was just there with my friends having a drink, and she just started ‘wining’ up on me, and it was flattering and fun in the moment. She asked for my phone and used it to ring hers, so she had my number. She was very blunt about what she wanted, and I didn’t mind, but after a while she was coming on too strong, and I didn’t know how to let her down easy without hurting her feelings. I blocked her and deleted her number.
Shaughn, 41, technician:
Two bulls can’t reign in one pen. If a woman has to go out and look a man, there must be something wrong why no man is looking her, and it’s probably because she is controlling. There are ways to let a man know you are interested without saying a word to him.
Clayton, 36, landscaper:
Nothing at all is wrong with it. If a woman wants a man, she shouldn’t have to wait until he notices her, because sometimes some of us are blind and need a little help. A woman who is confident in herself is not afraid to step to a man and say, “babes, me ago want yuh innuh”.
Jahnoy, 45, human resource officer:
It comes off as desperate if she doesn’t have the style to go with it, especially if she’s not too cute. I think a woman’s way of pursuing a man is just to get his attention, and then allow him to do the rest if he is interested. She doesn’t need to say a word.
Keino, 28, driver:
You can’t be a gallis if a woman never look you yet. When you carry yourself like a genna, woman swarm you like bees. They might not say everything a man would say when he is trying to get a girl, but it’s not just now woman a look man. Come to think of it, I’ve never had to ‘lyrics’ a girl yet. Man sharp like that.
Lennox 38, supervisor:
I was at the hospital visiting my wife who was giving birth. I was walking near the emergency room, when one of the female porters spotted me, and started telling another that she liked men who looked like me and I was the kind of man she would take her money and ‘mind’. As I passed she yelled, “Hey you wid the good body!” I felt disrespected and didn’t react, but the other porter yelled, “Ah you she a talk to you know!” I get this all the time even though I wear my wedding ring, and most times it’s weird because I don’t expect women to be so forward.
