Loose lips sink (relation)ships
WOMEN like to vent — it’s what we do. It helps us to cope even when our problems are not resolved. But sometimes loose lips sink ships, and what we reveal during a kumbaya moment with friends can have a devastating impact on our relationship. Relationship counsellor Wayne Powell says just before you spill your guts to a listening ear, even if he or she is your trusted confidante, you should make sure that you are not divulging any of the things below about your mate.
That he does not deliver in bed
What happens in the bedroom should stay in the bedroom, especially if it is something that is not flattering about your partner, unless you are getting the assistance of a professional. So don’t try to get “help” from friends on how you can help your man to start delivering in the bedroom because what you would have done is to rob your man of his dignity and possibly change the way that your friends view him.
That he has a checkered past
Whether it is that your partner has a criminal history, poor employment or academic record, you should never divulge information to others about this. First of all, this is not your story to tell, and secondly, this can be a source of embarrassment to your partner. So avoid these types of conversations because this could cause people to form biased opinions of him and may even affect his future opportunities should this information (especially if used out of context) gets to the wrong ears.
That he has an undersized member
Even if you haven’t, it is common to hear your friends share their “tell-all” about their new boy toys who sometimes eventually become their lifetime partners. They’ll spill the beans on everything about the man’s physique, not excluding the size of his manhood. Out of respect, especially if he is someone that you see yourself being with long term, avoid any such talk especially because this could be embarrassing. It can make the man insecure and since friendships these days are made in China (they don’t last long), you don’t want to risk a scandal that could end up hurting your partner and your relationship with him.
That his financial situation is dismal
Money matters in a relationship should be private. If you want to share details of your finances go ahead, but don’t go blabbing about a man struggling financially or sharing details on how much he earns or how little he can afford to do in your home. Money is a very sensitive topic and if a man is struggling to adequately fulfil his duties to his family, chances are he is already miserable, so don’t add to his wounds by volunteering this kind of embarrassing information to people.
His embarrassing idiosyncrasies
We all are a little weird — it’s these little oddities that truly make us who we are. So if he is so comfortable around you that he would share that he has always been a fan of pink ponies or likes getting a little top coat or clear polish on his nails, don’t go about making this public information. Doing this would only be betraying his trust and setting him up for unkind comments and jokes.
Secrets about his family of origin
Family secrets are often kept as just that, and if your man trusts you enough to share these with you then you have no place repeating them, and this includes even to other family members of his even if they are close. For one, you don’t know what that person’s policy is, and you don’t want them side-eyeing your man for telling you, and you also do not want to run the risk of an embarrassing family secret getting to the wrong ears.
Any personal information that he asked you to keep confidential
A woman should always try to be her man’s best friend. You are a team and it means not just loving and nurturing but trusting, safeguarding the interest of, and respecting your partner. As such, anything that your man tells you in confidence should never be repeated unless you are discussing this with him. Divulging it to anyone else, unless it is a life-threatening case, is an act of betrayal.
