Labour pains — Women share men’s awkward reactions to pregnancy, childbirth

FROM mood swings to raging hormones, the journey to motherhood can be a wild ride. And one of the people who we expect to nurture, love, and caress us with sweet words, encouragement, and laughter sometimes falls short of at least one of the above. Did your partner score big at making you laugh, or were his words or actions so callous and unhelpful during your pregnancy or labour that you just wanted to kill him? Some readers share below.

Norika, 41, stay-at-home-mother of four:

During childbirth with my third child, I was in active labour, and my husband, soaking with sweat from anxiety, caught a glimpse of our son’s head coming out, did a winner’s jump and shouted, “Rastafari!”. I thought they would have put him out but he floored the entire delivery staff.

Meg, 39, social worker, mother of two:

We were sitting in the dining area when my water broke just past midnight and I brought my partner’s attention to it. Just before he fainted, he shouted out, “Mi tell you say yuh shoulda make me pull out… Somebody help!” And he was out on that note. It was hilarious. I was laughing so hard I could barely find the strength to wake up my sister who was there helping me out.

Tonya, 38, teacher, mother of two:

I had a scheduled C-Section and told my husband what time to arrive at the facility – a public hospital mind you – and that there was no need to come early because he wouldn’t be allowed inside the theatre anyway. Well the procedure was scheduled for 7:30 am and he arrived at 5:30 and camped out in front of the theatre. The medical staff was late, and after 9:00, while I was being anaesthetised, there was a commotion in the room, as one of the nurses said there was some craziness going on outside. I knew immediately that my husband was involved, and after surgery when I was being wheeled to the recovery room, there were several security guards outside the theatre. My husband later confessed that he had started “making noise” and demanding to know what they were doing with his wife so long, and telling them that they’d better not switch or steal his baby. I’m still mortified.

Charmaine, 35, teacher, mother of two:

After my water broke, my husband tried to physically check how far apart my contractions were because he said I was already in labour for eight hours and they were “just gonna make us wait for the contractions to get closer anyway”. Right then I wanted to kill him will my bare hands. Baby number two came out in under two hours.

Ashani, 36, store manager, mother of two:

My partner was video recording me during labour. Thankfully I had the baby quickly so he could get out of my face, but it annoyed me long after giving birth. I found it insensitive.

Marsha, 36, mother of two:

When I was about seven months pregnant I would get easily fatigued and fall asleep. I would share this with my husband when he asked why when he was trying to reach me he couldn’t get through. He would always sing the same song that I had only one job, but he had two and worked 16 hours in the cold and still made time to video call me.

Alayne, 25, university student, mother of one:

My boyfriend had paid for me to deliver our baby at a private facility. When I was in active labour he came and whispered to me that I should try not to be “extra and loud” because he didn’t like how it sounded and his ex was a nurse at the facility and he didn’t want her judging me or calling me a “ghetto skank”. I was so upset and if the pain had not strapped me down the way it did I would have kindly packed up my accoutrements and headed down to Jubilee to put down my load. Mark you, I wasn’t loud, and had no intentions of being loud, but the emotional agony of being asked to police my response to carrying a part of him into this world brought was more than the physical pains of labour.

Dionne, 38, radiologist:

My fiancé told me that he hoped that our child didn’t inherit the mad genes in my family. I have one uncle with bipolar disorder. I found his comment highly insensitive.

Taliba, 48, accountant, mother of three:

Last year when I was giving birth to my third child, my husband (not the father of my first two boys) looked me in the eyes and asked me what I would do if the child was born with autism (I think he was worried because he was 53), because he wasn’t couldn’t deal with all that. I wanted to kill him because of the moment he chose to ask me, as well the fact that he would ask me to consider giving up a child because he was “special”. It was painful for me.

Jen, 27, stay-at-home-mom, mother of one:

I came home with an image of the ultrasound, showed it to my husband and said, our child looks just like me. He replied, “wow the baby has your colour”. Being an interracial couple he thought I was able to tell what colour the baby was from the ultrasound photo.