Weird ‘ex-capades’
AS human beings we are very alike, but we also can’t deny that we are very different. A big part of what makes us unique is that we all have quirks — whether we think our little oddities qualify as weird or not.
Are you the one in the relationship who’s a little strange, or is your partner the one with the eccentric habits? What about relationships past? What are some of the things your ex used to do that you didn’t realise were weird until after you parted?
Geo, 40, veterinarian:
One of my exes would comb her hair every Sunday morning and whatever loose, or what we call dead hair, that she would get after combing through her hair, she would lengthen the pile then wrap it in a bundle and put it at the root of a banana tree.
Sash, 28, social worker:
My ex would pluck body hair — mostly his, but he would try with mine from time to time. He would barely allow eyelashes or any other hair to grow because as soon as they started coming in he would pick at them. I encouraged him to get help and I don’t know if he has.
Tiffany, 31, legal secretary:
I have an ex who would just sit while the dog licked his hands and toes. He seemed to look forward to it. It turned me off and I ghosted him.
Kayla, 33, sales rep:
I have an ex who would always put water and toothpaste in his mouth before popping his toothbrush in. He would also always fart in rhythm because he thought it was cool — he is a musician. I also thought it was weird that as a grown man his mouth-to-mouth kisses with his mom lingered. Glad I dodged that bullet!
Lennox, 28, stay-at-home dad:
I had an ex who would pick the sponge from the mattress or the pillows and eat it. When she emptied one pillow she would just move on to another, and another…
Richard, 30, electrician:
When she was in deep reflection — like when she was watching TV or studying — she would put her tongue between her teeth, and use one hand to play with the hair under her armpit.
Ramone, 26, plant operator:
I had an ex who would always watch me when I was asleep. I found this really creepy. We lasted a month.
Doreen, 40, web designer:
This is my babydaddy, so unfortunately I’m stuck seeing him and his weird self for a few more years. He had a thing where he would get drunk, strip naked, then play the guitar and sing Jimi Hendrix songs for the stray cats we had in our yard. And getting drunk for him was a weekly occurrence, so you can imagine that every Friday evening I’d come home from work to this performance in our backyard. I loved him though, and I put up with this for two years until one day my sister was visiting and witnessed it and smacked some sense into me.
Nelson, 34, engineer:
After dating this girl for a while we got to the stage where she was coming over and so on. Our first time showering together I put a towel, rag and soap out for her, but she used the soap alone to rub all over. When I asked what was up with that, she told me that she didn’t bathe with a washrag or anything else for that matter.
Jermaine, 38, gym instructor:
I had an ex who introduced me to her family as her fiancé. It wasn’t a planned meet up or anything, we just ran into them while out for dinner one evening. We had not even discussed marriage at this point, especially since she wanted to take things slowly.
Jodeen, 42, police officer:
My ex guy always did a self-check thing — you know, putting his hand in his undergarment and then sniffing it to check if he was fresh or if he needed bathing.
