Ground rules for casual dating

CASUAL hook ups – whether she is your regular booty call or just Tinder hookup gone right – can be a satisfying and equally delightful experience. Unfortunately sometimes, your desire for reckless fun can morph into something complicated in the absence of ground rules. To make sure that everyone is happy after your night of passion, All Woman asked some readers who have some casual hook up stories to share the etiquette that others can benefit from.

Be respectful

Michelle, 33, receptionist:

I would say that you must be respectful. Not because she allows you to only call her when you want some means that she is not a lady.

Sophie, 28, unemployed:

It pays to be kind and to respect the person that you are being intimate with. Just like you, she just wants a good time. You don’t get to look down at her.

Ava, 36, insurance agent:

Not even if it’s just a casual thing means that you can just do anything you want. You still have to respect boundaries. So if the person says that they don’t like that or they are not into certain things, don’t force it on them. Not everyone who likes to have fun is open to everything, so if you are going to hook up with people you have to understand that.

Practise safe sex

Lisa, 25, phlebotomist:

Make sure that you always use protection, because you know that there is always a possibility that the person has something.

Shawna-Lee, 30, waitress:

Even if they show you a medical certificate with the present day on it don’t ride bareback. Respect yourself and your body. Oh, and especially if there is a bonafide partner, even if you don’t have self-respect, have some respect for him/her and don’t risk exposing them to any disease.

Donovan, 45, painter:

Use a condom every time. You don’t want to destroy your life because of a moment of pleasure.

Don’t become emotionally invested

Michelle, 29, nurse:

Women, maybe more than men, are emotional and chances are we only hooked up with the guy because he has something going on that we like. No matter how tempting, you don’t want to become too emotionally involved. Sure, there will be some amount of passion, and if sex is good you can get reeled in, but don’t allow your emotions to spiral out of control. None of you signed up for that and you don’t want things to get uncomfortable.

Marsha, 38, coach:

Do not throw around phrases like “I love you” when he told you it was a booty call. Men, the same goes for you – the nana may be good, but you weren’t promised a relationship. Keep things casual or keep it moving.

Tina, 35, preschool teacher:

Avoid things like texting the man all the time especially if he seems to take forever to respond. The fact that he only texts you when he wants booty is a clear message. Don’t annoy the man. If you want to, break things off and find someone else.

Aaron, 40, soldier:

Don’t linger. I won’t throw you out at 5:00 am, but I will not make you breakfast in bed. So when I wake up at 9:00 am I honestly don’t see why you should still be in my space.

Be kind

Sherwin, 26, police officer:

Not because it’s a hook up means that the person is less than a guest. Be sure to offer things like a rag or towel for your guest. Show her to the bathroom. Offer her water at least and/or snacks, and since you should at least allow her to sleep until it’s morning when it’s safer to travel home, also offer her a sheet or blanket.

Tiffany, 33, teacher:

Don’t snoop around the person’s apartment or get nosy. Don’t ask questions that are too personal because you don’t have that kind of arrangement. If he/she offers information and is open to sharing, fine, but don’t go full FBI – that will only make things awkward.