Low libido? There’s a remedy for that
WHILE many women have been revelling in the love lockdown this month, some have been secretly dreading the increased sexual attention. We get it. It’s not that you dislike your partner or he’s not good at lovemaking, or you’re unhappy in your relationship, you just don’t get aroused very often (if at all), and frequent intercourse just doesn’t seem like such a big deal to you. You’re okay with it and it feels good, but you could have also been OK just spooning. That’s not so bad, right? Is something wrong with you?
No, there is nothing wrong with you and you are definitely not the first woman in the world to just not be in the mood. Author and sexologist Shelly-Ann Weeks says female sexuality is complex and affected by many factors ranging from culture to lifestyle.
“Culturally, girls are typically praised for chastity and discouraged from being too sexual in their expression,” she pointed out. “Even as teens, girls are warned about not getting pregnant by people telling them that ‘abstinence makes sense’, so when they become women it’s not easy to be openly sexual, even in their relationships.”Weeks says that in addition to the cultural influences, women experience sexuality in different ways because of health and self-esteem issues. “For women who suffer from conditions such as endometriosis or just really painful periods, sex can be a very daunting experience,” she said. Pregnancy, breastfeeding, certain medications and medical conditions such as arthritis, diabetes and high blood pressure can also lower your libido.“Low interest in sex is sometimes driven by a lack of knowledge about the body and sex itself,” she added. “Generally women are not encouraged to touch their own bodies, and the idea both terrifies and disgusts them. Sharing their bodies is seen as a duty that they must perform for their partners.”
But with all the obstacles getting in the way of a woman’s sexual pleasure, there are ways to deal with some of them, Weeks says. She gives these tips to help bring your sexy back.
Get to know your body
“Get to know your body and figure out what feels good,” she said. “Many women experience their first orgasm through self-stimulation, plus this is a great way to demonstrate to a partner how to please you.”
Explore
Just as you explore your body, it is also important to explore the world of pleasure that exists around you. “Read erotic literature and explore arousal and stimulation in a different way. This is an activity that can be shared with a partner as a way of mutual stimulation,” Weeks recommended.
Communicate
Whether you suddenly have a loss of sexual appetite or you’ve never had much to begin with, it is important to let your partner know how you feel and that it is not their fault. “Hypoactive sexual desire disorder is not a permanent situation and there are ways to deal with it, but it will take some proactive steps and some patience, especially from a partner. The good news is that relationships can survive low libidos and come out having a better, closer, sexier, union at the end of it,” Weeks pointed out.
Talk to your doctor
You may be surprised just how many things can cause your sex drive to plummet. It could be anything from the C-section scar you think is ugly to something in your diet that is preventing proper blood circulation to your lady parts. “If you think it might be a medical condition, visit your doctor and find out if there is a treatment option that can heal the issue,” Weeks said.
Get help spicing things up
Whether it’s a therapist, a sexologist or an uncoventional erotic dance class, there are avenues that you can take to find that magical place deep inside you.
“Visit a professional to discuss sexual desire and be open to stepping outside the usual comfort zone in order to have a more active sexual experience,” Weeks recommended.
