The measure of a man
OUR opinions of men have, for the most part, resulted from floating lies packaged as facts that society continues to feed to each generation. We asked women to share some of the common assumptions about men that turned out, on experience, to be false.
Assumption: Fat men don’t measure up
FACT:
Stacy-Ann, 33, immigration officer:
I always liked a cuddle-bear kind of man, but the thought of being with a man who had shortcomings was stressing me. Anyway, while working at a popular sports bar in Kingston I met one. He was charming and all, but I saw the belly and I was fretting. I decided to give him a try, just because he and I had an instant connection, and, ladies and gentlemen, it was the very best experience of my whole life. I had no intentions of getting serious with him, but I stuck around because the guy was packing. He was also quite fit, so he always gave me a really good show. My man now is of a similar build and he is definitely not a “short” man. So I definitely know for sure this one is not even close to the truth.
Vivien, 45, field officer:
I am not saying that it’s not possible, but I have a man who is on the large side and his belly does not get in the way. I can always anticipate the full hundred whenever we are intimate.
Assumption: Men in uniform are great in bed
FACT:
Tavia, 29, teacher:
This is the biggest lie! I have dated three of these men, and all three can’t make one. I don’t know if it’s because their jobs are stressful or not, but come on, man!
Nickoy, 24, university student:
Listen to me when I tell you that the men in uniform, especially soldiers, don’t have any magic. Ladies, unless you are looking to waste time, don’t look in that direction.
Assumption: Men are not emotional
FACT:
Jhanelle, 30, guidance counsellor:
Not true! I have had four partners in life, and three have cried or have been open and expressive. In truth, men experience the same depth of emotions as women; I think the difference is how each person deals with them. Men, for example, are socialised to believe “big men don’t cry” and are seen as less of a man if they are expressive. If we didn’t treat emotion with such scorn, men would better channel their anger too.
Monique, 45, business owner:
Men are macho because we make them so. More men want to be in tune with their softer sides than we allow. And in relationships it’s almost like my partners felt like I was tricking them when I encouraged them to be more emotional. What society needs to do is to stop scarring our boys so they can be men who are more secure with their emotions.
Assumption: The size of his feet tells all
FACT:
Michelle, 35, social media marketer:
I met this dude, a police guy, and God knows, it looked like he had to custom make his shoes. And he was very tall, with a nice, lean body. But when the time came and things went down, he probably had three-quarters of what I expected, but I was grateful. One other time I had expectations met only halfway; it was disappointing.
Georgette, 29, housekeeper:
This one is not true at all. I know because I have a lot of experience. Tall men don’t always have a good size, but if they know how to use it they will know how to move you around for you to feel like they’re packing.
Assumption: Short men are arrogant
FACT:
Haven, 38, fashion designer:
Short men are often said to be arrogant because they want to make up for their ‘shortcomings’, but this is not true. Short women go through the same thing; we are labelled as sassy.
Paulette, 41, nail tech:
Many short men have issues and things to prove, but not enough to make a broad generalisation. Men in general are arrogant and it has little to do with height; rather, they boast about their cars, their money, and their jobs.
Assumption: All men are dogs
Samantha, 30, make-up artist:
While we like to tell ourselves that, especially when we have had our own share of ill luck with men, it is far from true. Good men still exist, but like you all I am yet to find one. Have faith, sisters!
Kenesha, 35, lifeguard:
I can categorically say that this is not true. I have dated in total three men seriously, and all were good, decent, charming men. They didn’t cheat, didn’t lie, and didn’t have doggish qualities. And my husband is the same. I think women attract who they deserve.
