Which one of your partners did your parents hate the most?

PARENTS always want the best for their children, not just in life, but in love as well. And so naturally they will have high expectations of the person that is later introduced to them — whether there is no official pledge of commitment, or the children indicate to them that they want to grow old with this person.

While many of us may be too drunk in love to see red flags and the manipulative actions of some of the men and women we form relationships with, it is almost a guarantee, especially if we are close to our parents, that they will pick up on them — and chances are not only will they disapprove of the relationship, but they will hate our partners as well.

We asked readers to share which of their exes their parents hated most, and why.

Dihanne, 33, business owner:

They hated my boyfriend who is now my husband most. Looking back, I can’t blame them — he was manipulative, spoke down to me, just wanted what I had, and he would suck every dollar out of me if he could even though he was in a good job. He also wanted a particular lifestyle but didn’t want me to be part of it even though my money paid for it. They also hated that he was a know-it-all who tried to get me to delay paperwork to assist them with getting their green cards. I am now separated from him. I love him still, but my parents were right about him and he will leave me with nothing and no one around me if I allow him to.

Anesha, 32, medical doctor:

Definitely the boyfriend before this one. I was in my sixth year of medical school when my boyfriend of five years out of the blue told me it wasn’t going to work out and asked me if I could move my things out within two weeks because his girlfriend from the States was coming to Jamaica and he needed me to be gone when she arrived. Would you believe I was the one who initially engaged the landlord for the place we were renting? So I left there, not because he forced me to, but because I didn’t want to live in a house with memories of him. He refused to give me any explanation even though things were fine in our relationship. I ended up in a dark place, self-harmed, failed two courses, and had to do therapy to get back to myself. My parents were devastated. Turns out he was doing it for a green card and now resides with the woman, and I believe a child, in the States. The bed of roses he was looking for though, he didn’t find.

Jamar, 40, labourer:

I would say that my parents hate my babymother most because they are convinced that one of my sons is a jacket. Truth be told, I feel that way sometimes too — he looks just like the bredda that my mother usually sees her with. I think because I am a man who always takes care of things, she pinned the baby on me, and I don’t want a situation where if the child is mine, she poisons his mind that I disowned him or anything like that.

Leon, 37, business development manager:

My mom hates my girlfriend because she says she acts like she is “better than people”. I admit that, because of how standoffish my girlfriend is, and the fact that she will only accept bottled water when we go by my family’s house. I get why my mom will feel some type of way as though they were being scorned, but I know she isn’t like that. It’s just that she was raised differently and we should respect that.

Shania, 33, operations manager:

My stalker ex would have to be the ex most hated my parents, and not just my parents, everyone close to me. He made me live in fear and if I were to be honest, I still do. He made my life hell, threatened my life and that of my family, and I had to get the police involved. The truth is, sometimes you just don’t know whom you are getting involved with, no matter how careful you are being.

Nahleese, 45, business consultant:

In my 20s I got pregnant three times and each time I did, my partner would beat them out of me. Outside of that, he was generally abusive and unkind to me. My parents got wind of what was happening at the house and it made them angry. One day my dad got so mad he drove his van and packed me up. He didn’t give me a choice but he told me this, “Leesi, you are too valuable to have a man treat you like trash”. He said he didn’t care how old I was, I didn’t have his permission to sleep with the devil. I never looked back.